Who Am I?
by SarahsOblivion
Summary: Katniss Everdeen has already been through enough in her short life to make anyone go mad but she has to stay strong especially for her baby, Willow. Everything is going okay and she is just learning to forget about the 73rd Hunger Games, of which she won. When she starts putting the pieces together, Could everything she ever got told be a lie?
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story that I have had wrote for a while now. Well only the first two chapters anyway. But I want to upload to see what you all think? I like it but do you? I hope you like it... Here it is...**

 **1.**

 _I let go of the string and the arrow flies through the sky, hitting its target in seconds. The girl from 6, the one that caused so many deaths, falls infront of me, taking her last breathe as I hear the cannon go off. I feel nothing but guilt as soon as I see her hit the floor but there is still a little bit of me down deep that is kind of happy that she finally died. Over the past 4 days since the beginning of the games, she has caused 10 deaths. Honestly, I never thought that a 17 year old girl from 6 could cause so much pain._

 _"Lev?" I ask, looking around, suddenly worried about my district partner._

 _"I'm here!" I hear his voice come from the inside of the Cornucorpia. I follow it to find him hunched over, holding onto the metal that makes the cornucorpia. "I'm fine, just getting my breathe back." He must have had one hell of a fight with the boy from 2. A cannon sounds, signalling the boys death and I relax slightly, but then realisation hits me. There is only us two left. One of us has to kill the other. "Do it." He asks, as if reading my mind._

 _"No, I will not kill you." I say, backing away as he motions towards my bow. I toss it aside and he moves to pick it up. Tears form in my eyes. We have become such good friends over the past couple of weeks, as if I would be able to kill him. "I'M NOT GOING TO KILL HIM!" I shout up to the sky. I'm probably gonna pay for that. "NO WAY!"_

 _"Katniss..." Lev starts but I put my hand up to stop him._

 _"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL US BOTH!" I'm looking up at the sky fully now, my vision clouded by tears._

 _"Katniss, its okay." I hear Lev say from behind me and I turn around and am in his arms in seconds. My tears go all over his shoulders and I hold on tight. I dont normally hug people but I cant help it. His body jolts slightly and he lets out a small yelp of pain. "They only need one winner Katniss." Thats when he pulls away and I catch sight of the small dagger that he must have taken from the District 2 Male, sticking out of his abdomen. I dont even have time to react before his body slips through my arms, landing in a heap on the floor. I hear the cannon but unlike any other cannon, this one is further away._

I jolt awake to the sound of knocking. "Katniss? You awake?" I hear from the door. Its Effie. Her voice is not what I want to hear when I have just woken up from a nightmare.

"Yeh." I shout back. "I'll be out in a minute." I hear her heals click as she walks away down the hallways to the dining cart. My hand grazes over the sweat covered bed sheets beneath me. The tears are still falling from my eyes at the thought of my fallen friend and my head is pounding, probably from my own screams as my throat is also dry, telling me that I did do a lot of screaming.

Its been 2 days since the games and I've had no rest since. Every waking moment was spent either in the prep room at the Tribute Centre or doing interviews with Caesar Flickerman. Every night, I would go to sleep, only to be woken up about half an hour later by a nightmare. Each one the same. Lev dying.

I am the victor of the 73rd Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen, the new Victor, the one that deifed the Capitol without meaning too. The girl on fire. Sweetheart. The girl in Love. During my interview, I mentioned something about a boy that once through me bread and everyone now knows that I have feelings for him. I dont know why I have feelings for him, I dont even know him, I just know that there is something there.

 _"So, Katniss tell me... Pretty face like yours, there must be a lucky fellow back in 12?" Caesar asks me and I search my brain for something to say, something that wont make me sound desperate or stupid. I know that I'm not a good liar so anything I lied about would definitely come back to haunt me, so I just tell the truth._

 _"Well, there is this one guy, but we only saw eachother once. I doubt he even has a clue who I am." I say, looking at Caesar, trying to forget that hundreds of people are watching me right now._

 _"Well, how about we jog his memory?" My heart starts to race._

 _"Okay, well I was outside your family Bakery, it was raining and it was about 3 years ago. You threw me a burnt loaf of bread... Ever since then, I havent been able to get you out of my head." Thats only partly true. Every time I see him walking around, I feel like there is something more there, like I love him but it cant be that because I would never love someone that I have never actually talked to._

When I got back into the penthouse, where we were staying, Lev found me and sat me down to talk to me. Thats when he told me who the boy was. That the the boy I had feelings for was his youngest brother. And then he proceeded to tell me that it would never work between us but I still dont know why he said that. Maybe I can talk to his brother about it. Either of his brothers.

"Katniss! Come on! Cinna needs you in an hour." Haymitch shouts from right outside the door and I sigh. He knocks again, or more like bangs before grumbling something and walking off, probably in the direction of the bar car.

I finally swing my legs over the edge of the bed and pull myself up to my feet. Today is the day that I go home. I can't wait to get back to distrct 12 and see my family. I miss my baby girl like crazy. Willow, or Willow as I call her, is my 4 month old girl. She is by far the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life and I love her to pieces but everytime I see her, I think about her father. About a year ago I was attacked and raped, by Eric Stratser. I dont remember it because he knocked me out and by doing so, erased quite a lot of my memory from after I was 11. I remember some things but other are just blanks in my mind. I've spent the last year trying to get my memory back but I couldnt.

When I found out I was pregnant with Willow, I didnt believe it because I knew that I never wanted children and I didnt remember ever having sex so when my mum found out, that is when she told me that I was also raped and at first, I didnt want the baby but at the time I was already 5 months gone and it was too late to do anything about it. When she was born, I didnt regret it at all. I didnt have enough money or anything like that so my mother suggested dropping her off at the orphange but I couldnt do that because people say its a horrible place.

I had to go through a lot of hell in school too. Everyone called me names and nobody liked me, Madge was the only person that stuck by me and Gale too. He still helps out with the baby, he acts like a father to her which is good because I dont know what I would tell her when she was older, I dont think I would be able to tell her the truth about her father. She would hate me for keeping it a secret and it would definitely be hard to find the right time.

Its really hard being a mother at 15, not as hard as winning a Hunger Games but still really hard. Its not like I dont have any Motherly experience, because of looking after Prim the past couple of years but when its your own child, its completely different. Mum has been a great help though, surprisingly. About a year and a half ago, she didnt even pay attention to me and now she listens to everything I say, she helps out a lot more and she has even talked about going to work at the Apothecary to support us all. We cant survive on my hunting forever and Prim is definitely not taking out tesserae. I guess now that I have won the Hunger Games, we wont even have money problems.

 _"Hey Princess." Lev says from behind me, I jump, turning around. Tomorrow is the start of the games start and I definitely can not sleep. Lev insisted on calling me Princess after I got annoyed at Haymitch calling me 'sweetheart'. "Cant sleep?" He asks, standing next to me as I look out over the Capitol. I've been up here on the roof for about 2 hours now and I feel like my arms are going to fall off from the cold._

 _"Of course not." I reply. "Worried about tomorrow." He nods in understanding and glances out over the Capitol. Below, they are having some sort of Celebration to congratuate the tributes even though we are all in here._

 _"Me too. Maybe we should think about something else?" He asks and I nod, turning away from the Capitol and looking at him. He leads me over to a bench and offers me his coat, which I take because I'm freezing. "What about your family? Tell me about them."_

 _"Well, my sister is Prim and she is amazing. You'd love her. She's so kind and loving. I remember taking her out into the woods once to hunt and we came back early because she kept begging me not to kill anymore squirrels because she thought they where 'cute'." I laugh slightly at the memory. "My mother, well, Its only in the past couple of months that me and my mum have been close. Since my dad died anyway."_

 _"What about Willow?" He asks and I narrow my eye. How does he know about my daughter? "News travels fast." He adds, as if reading my mind._

 _"Well, She is 4 months old now, its gone so fast and she is the love of my life. I cant believe that somebody so beautiful and amazing could come from such a discusting thing. I was-" I'm about to tell him the truth when he butts in._

 _"Yeh, I know what happened to you and trust me all I wanted to do was go over there and break his face." I feel the tears threaten to come from my eyes, why would Leaven Mellark hate Eric because of what he did to me? Leaven didnt really know me then. "Carry on."_

 _"Yeh, anyway, Willow doesnt look anything like that asshole. She looks like me but beautiful. I dont know what I would do without her. She makes me know that whatever happens, I will have her there." I finish and I look up find him watching me._

 _"I wish I had met her." He says and I smile, but then drop it as I know what he means. If he thought he was going to survive then he would say, 'I'd like to meet her someday' or 'Would you be able to introduce us when we get back' Or something like that. He plans on dying._

 _"You might get to yet." I say to him._

 _"Come on Katniss. You have more to live for then me. You have a daughter who would be lost without you, you have a loving family and a best friend that needs you. Nobody cares about me, I'll be fine." He says and the tears threaten again._

 _"Leaven..." I know I cant say anything to change his mind but I just wanted to say his name. Unluckily the name makes me cry and I think about how many times its going to make me cry if he does actually die._

 _"Come here." He says and pulls me in for a hug. "Just promise me that you will look after that little girl. She needs you."_

I'm not quite sure why that memory runs through my head but it does and I let it because its a nice memory, sad but nice. He always seemed to become more interesting when I talked about Willow after that, in the arena. It was nice to have someone to talk to in a place so horrible. I wasnt actually with him until the last 4 days of the arena. He ran off during the bloodbath and I got a pack before eventually running off into the woods and hiding in trees. He however, mostly stayed down by the lake in a cave that he found. One day I found him wondering around in the woods, he says that he was looking for food but also for me. From then on we hid out in the cave, leaving sometimes to hunt. We seemed to have a lot to talk about when we got bored. It did cross both our minds that we would have to split up but we didnt really wan to, we would deal with the end when it came and deal with it we did. There was an annconcement saying that a feast was at the cornucorpia, with things that we all needed. Me and Lev didnt really need anything but we knew that it was the end so we went and thats where he died.

"Rise and shine sweetheart." I've walked from my bedroom into the dining car without even realising. "We have a big big big day." Haymitch says, mocking Effie, who isnt here for some reason.

"A big big big day that I'm looking forward to for once. I bet you're happy that you finally have a neighbour in that awful place?" I ask, taking a seat at the table and loading up on food.

"Not really, I have a feeling that you arent going to leave me alone are you?" He asks with a sarcastic smile on his face.

"And I have a feeling that the whole Victors Village reeks of liqour, not particularly a smell I was Willow to smell." I reply.

"Oh yes, the wonderful Willow Everdeen. Cant wait to meet her." He says, this he says nicely though.

"Well maybe you can but if you are drinking then its a no." He laughs at me and I laugh back, almost choking on a small piece of bacon thats on its way down my throat. The Avox behind me, pours me a drink and I nod in thanks, still coughing from the bacon. After the drink though I'm fine. Haymitch is still laughing but I'm not sure wether he is laughing at the sarcasm before or the coughing. Either way its not funny now.

"So, you going to talk to Interview boy?" He asks me, referring to the boy I mentioned in my interview. Haymitch hasnt shut up about it since I mentioned it.

"Dont know Haymitch." I say quietly. I honestly dont know if I can talk to him. What would I say to him. I'm not even sure of my feelings for him yet, I cant tell him until I'm sure. "Maybe I'll know when I see him." Then the room falls into silence.

For the rest of the day, I'm poked and prodded by my prep team as they ramble on about how excited they are to see me at the parade in a couple of days and what I'll be wearing because they arent actually getting me ready for the parade, they have to stay in the Capitol but Cinna is coming over, so the whole job is Cinna's. Him and Effie will be staying over night on the train as they have to attend the party the next day to congratulate me and remember Lev.

"What about when she was running from that fire, I swear my heart was racing so much, I didnt think she was going to make it!" Venia says and I roll my eyes. The conversation has somehow got on to the arena.

"Oh me too!" Octavia squeels. "But then our brave little Katniss got out of there and survived against all odds." She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek only to be waved away quickly by Flavius because she will 'wreck my make-up'.

2 hours later, I'm standing at the door waiting to be let off the train to see my family. Effie is running around getting everyone in formation. Cinna and Portia first, then her, then Haymitch and finally me bringing up the rear. On the other side of that door is my family and friends and I'm here being shouted at by Effie because I'm 'slouching'. Sometimes I really just want to shout at her. By the sour look on Haymitch's face as she fixes his tie, he wants too aswell. Atleast in a couple of days, we wont have to deal with her for another 6 months.

"Right, big big big smiles everyone." Effie shouts over Haymitch's head, I know ts directed at me but I carrying on looking at the floor, honestly I'm kind of finding it hard not to smile. The door opens without warning and fresh air floods the stuffy air that has built up over the past 24 days. I breathe in great smell of Coal and Pine Trees, the smell of District 12. I dont realise anyone started moving until Haymitch is actually out the door, the cameras are pointing in the train trying to get a picture of me and I brace myself quickly before walking out.

The first thing I see is Haymitch as he leads me away from the cameras. Then its my sister. Then finally my little girl Willow, who suprisingly isnt in the arms of my sister, or even Gale, my best friend and Willow's god-father. But in the arms of Masan Mellark, with Peeta Mellark standing right beside him, stroking Willow's face. I feel the need to steal her away from them but my sisters arms around me before I can react. I bury my face in her shoulder and wrap my arms tightly around her. "I have missed you so much." She says. I look behind her and try to find my mother but I cant. I'll have to ask Prim about it later.

"I've missed you too." I reply. "I want my baby." I whisper and Prim pulls away, nodding. I can see the tears in her eyes. She waves Masan over and he hands me Willow.

"You're sister wanted to greet you properly so I offered to hold her, if thats alright. That's quite a little girl you've got there Katniss, she is definitely special." He smiles and backs away, pulling Peeta away after him. I forget about any attempt to run after Peeta and talk to him and instead I look down at Willow. She looks so older but I guess thats just because I'm her mother. She always looks different when I leave for more than an hour. I kiss her face and her eyes open, the blue that reminds me so much of the man who attacked me, Eric. I pull her close to me and find myself crying.

"Hey Catnip." I hear behind me and hand Willow to my mother before throwing my arms around my best friend. "Thank you for coming back." He whispers into my hair and I find myself letting out a small laugh. "How about we go home?" He asks and I nod as I pull away and grab my sister arm, walking towards the Seam, away from the Cameras and away from where Haymitch seems to be having a very heated conversation with a camera man as he tries to push his way through the crowd to see me. Maybe now we can have some peace and quiet, no more cameras, no more Effie and no more 'congratulations'.

I expect to go back to my house but for some reason we end up stood outside the Bakery back door. I can see the tree that I once almost died under and I have no intention of going back inside this house. For starters, Mrs Mellark hates me and it will remind me too much of Lev. I also need to find My Mother.

"Prim, whats going on? Why are we here?" I ask her. Gale gives me a quick hug before leaving, but its not just a hug its different. Its like he feels sorry for me. I can tell by the way his arms enircle me that something is going on.

Thats when Prims face drops and my heart seems to sink in my chest. She never gives me that look unless something bad has happened. She pulls open the back door of the Bakery and strolls inside. "What are you doing? Come back here." I hiss. "You cant go in someone elses house." She still waves me in though and I check to see if the coast is clear, before stepping in, leaving the door wide open incase I have to make a quick getaway.

"Katniss, I need to talk to you." Prim mumbles. Tears have now formed in her eyes and just at that precise moment, Mrs Mellark comes bounding out the kitchen.

"Primrose? Why is the door open?" She hisses at my little sister. I feel the need to shout at her or atleast say something back but nothing comes out as I'm shocked into silence, how does she know my sisters name? What the hell is going on?

"Sorry." Is all I say and close the door quickly behind me, something tells me that I dont need to be ready to make a clean getaway. If something happens, I'll just have to stick up for myself.

"Thank you." She growls and goes back into the kitchen to talk to someone.

I turn back to Prim. "Whats going on?" I ask her. She leads me over to the sofas and begins to speak.

"Katniss, mum died." She says and my heart drops even lower. "The day that you won. I think it was because you refused to kill Leaven. I was out with Willow when it happened. We where in the Town Square, talking to the Baker when next thing I know, the sirens are going off. Mr Mellark followed me and we found our house up in flames. Masan was kind enough to take us both in even though I have to share a room with 2 boys that snore like mad but they gave me and Willow, Leavens bed so it isnt all bad but I still cant believe that she's gone, sometimes I feel like I'm going to wake up from this nightmare any minute.

The tears fall from my eyes and I try to shake them away but it doesnt make any difference at all. "This is all my fault. I shouldnt have said anything in the arena. I should have just died like I was supposed to. I'm so sorry Prim, that you had to go through all this by yourself." I say, grabbing her hand.

"Its okay, the Mellarks have helped a lot and Rye had taken over looking after Willow and even Mrs Mellark loves her. I think she's even warming up to me. I think me being here has made her a better person. Peeta normally just keeps to himself but I dont mind. I dont think we would have much to talk about anyway. Apparently mum and Masan had a deal a long time ago that if anything was to happen to either of them then the other would look after all the kids. Masan's kids wouldnt need looking after though, so I guess that only applied to me." Even with the news that she has just told me, she still talks forever.

"Well, I will thank him for what he has done but after these couple of days, you are coming to live with me in the Victors Village." I say and she smiles through the tears that are now streaming down her face. "Am I staying here too?" I ask her and she nods. I cant believe I just found out that my mother died and I'm thinking about where I am going to stay.

"Leavens matress is big enough for all three of us, so we'll be fine." She says and I find myself nod.

Of course the Peace and quiet only lasted about 2 days, when the train rolled in again, bringing with it, my team. Today is the parade where I get my new house, next door to Haymitch. I was really not looking forward to today. I'm pretty sure I've actually cried a couple of times about the idea of leaving this house. I dont know how I'm going to be able to leave the house my dad built himself. It has most of my memories in it and thats not just something that you give up easily. Plus, my mother and sister arent even moving in with me. My Mother thinks that I should have my own house now that I have a family of my own to protect. Mum has got a job in the Apothecary so that she can take care of Prim so that she doesnt even need to take any money from me but I'm gonna give it to her anyway, even if I have to give it to Prim.

The parade starts at 12 so that I can get through the district and then get in my new house by 5. Then I can cook me and Willow some Dinner and I can get her to bed. Gale and Rory are working on getting everything into my new house before I get there and whilst I'm being 'remade' so that they can watch me take off on my parade.

My body slams into something pretty hard and I'm knocked straight off my feet, banging my head on the cobble floor beneath me. I guess I should have seen that coming as I wasnt actually paying attention. "Sorry about that." A person says, helping me up off the floor. "I'm a bit clumsy sometimes." I open my eyes to see Ember Oakley, the Black-smiths son and only child. He's 2 years older than me and I remember that we used to talk when we where younger but then he started hanging around with the kids from town. "You okay?" He asks, looking me up and down as he rubs his forehead.

"Yeh, I'm fine, You alright?" I ask, motioning towards his head.

"Oh yeh, dont worry about me. Let me make it up to you?" He asks. I'm about to shake my head but he puts his hand up to stop me, "I'm not going to take no for an answer, Let me take you out somewhere." Realisation hits me, He is flirting with me. I dont remember him every doing that before, is he only doing it because I now am a victor of the Hunger Games? No boy ever noticed me before because I was the Seam Whore that had a baby and nobody came near me as if I had a disease. "Please Katniss?" He asks and I think about it for a second before giving up. Who cares if its for the Victor thing, it doesnt have to be serious.

"Fine, it will have to be a couple of days though. I have the parade and then the party and I'm gonna have to get someone to look after Willow." I say and he nods.

"Not a problem, just let me know when. You know where I am." He smiles and then walks away, dissapearing into the Black-smiths. Now I'm pretty good at reading peoples faces and I didnt not catch one glimpse of someone lying. Is it true that he could have been actually asking me out?

"Katniss! GET IN HERE BEFORE EFFIE KILLS ME!" I hear Haymitch shout from the Justice Building steps, shaking me out of whatever trance I was in. I nod in reply and set off running towards the steps, knocking into a startled looking blonde person, whispering a 'sorry' as I carry on running.

When I'm finally ready and on my parade car, I'm knackered, I just want to go to bed. My mind is more tired than my body as I havent been able to stop thinking about Ember. I cant believe he would actually like someone like me. I never wanted marraige or kids but now I already have a kid, maybe I should take an opportunity like this because for someone like me, it doesnt come often. I catch sight of him as I am ready to set off. He is smiling up at me as he stands next to his father. I wave slightly and he waves back. Gale is not far from him, looking confused, making me laugh. I scan the crowd for anyone else I know and I find the Mellarks. Mr Mellark watching me with Peeta and Rye standing next to the having a conversation with a girl that I know to be Leavens girl- well ex-girlfriend now. Maybe I should talk to her. Oh yeh I forgot that I had letters for the all off him. Before we went into the games, we both sat down and wrote letters and gave them to Haymitch but then he gave them back to me when I made it out. I binned mine and kept Leavens so that I could give them to his family personally. He wrote one for each of them separately.

"I present to you, Katniss Everdeen, Victor of the 73rd Hunger Games." I hear the Mayor say from somewhere and the parade car jolts awake and I'm off, out the square and into town. They told me inside the Justice Building that I'll be going through town first and then through the seam and finally into the Victors Village where Willow and my team will be waiting for me. Haymitch though, gets the honour of staying on my car with me. He has to sit in a chair behind me. I dont get to sit down though, I have to stand up and wave to everyone and smile.

By the time its over, my toes are all but dead from the heals, my arm feels like its about to fall off and my face feels like I'm permanently smiling. Haymitch helps me down off the car and the Mayor hands me my key so that I can unlock my own house. I smile and slide it into the lock. The warmth hits me as soon as the door opens, someone must have lit all the fires. Masan follows me in, carrying Willow. Prim brings up the rear and we all stare up at the house that I'm gonna be living in. Its absolutely amazing, the hardwood, the Capitol furniture. Its so elegant that it seems like a crime for someone like me to be living here.

The Mayor proceeds to show us around. The kitchen is bigger then the whole downstairs of my old house. The sitting room looks like its set up for the President and the office is extraordinary. The table in the dining room is different than anything I have ever seen and the downstairs bathroom is bigger than the bedroom I used to share with My Mother, My Sister and Willow. Upstairs, there are 6 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. One of the bathrooms is my private bathroom and the other one is at the other end of the hallways. My bedroom is just at the top of the stairs and Willow's is right across from mine, all set up and everything, but I know that I will probably be moving her crib into my room, she is only 4 months after all. There isnt anything else in this house for a baby though, maybe I can quickly go to the baby shop in town before Effie shows up.

When the Mayor leaves, Masan makes us all some Dinner. Its nothing special, just some chicken and mash but its nice. Chicken that hasnt been hunting and Potatoes that havent been taken from the Coal infested grounds of 12. Proper Chicken and proper potatoes. I offer for them to stay tonight but Masan says that she best get Prim home so they go about 8, leaving me alone as Willow went to bed an hour ago. Oh yeh, I forgot to tell you that I'm not allowed to keep Prim living with me. We taked to te Mayor about it and apparently, she has to have a proper gaurdian until she turns 13 so until she is living in the Bakery but luckily its only round the corner. I told all of them that they can visit anytime they want, even Peeta who always seemed to be busy when I was in. I dont know what his problem is with me but I dont think he likes me very much.

The Capitol left me what they call a 'Baby Monitor' which allows me to go anywhere in the house and still know if Willow is crying or not which is probably the most useful thing I could have. She always seemed to cry when I couldnt hear her before. I make myself a hot chocolate, something I tried for the first time in the Capitol, and take a seat infront of the fire.

 _"Morning Beautiful." A voice says behind my head. I turn around on the matress and see Peeta's face looking back at me. His arms are tightly around me and he is in my bed. What is he doing in my bed? Oh yeh, thats right, we slept in the woods last night._

 _"Morning. Is this a dream or am I actually waking up next to you?" I ask and I feel a laugh rumble through his chest. He smiles down at me and again and I smile back. Last night was my first time ever having sex and I believe that it was Peeta's too. Yesterday I brought him out here for a date and we swam in the lake and had a picnic and then settled down infront of the fire and it just sort of happened. Most 14 year olds that you see having sex these days are not in love they just think its something that have to do but I am in love with an amazing guy._

 _"Its definitely not a dream, even if it does feel like one." He replies. "How did you sleep?"_

 _"Best night of my life." I say and he nods slightly. I turn myself further into him and bury my face into his chest._

 _"Best night of your life so far." I can hear the tone in his voice, suggesting we are gonna have a better night when we are older. I dont doubt it. "When do you want to go back?" He asks._

 _"Never sounds good, I want to live in this cold little cottage forever with you." When I first told him that we were coming out here, he looked scared but then he came here and couldnt keep his mouth shut. Honestly living out here, I wouldnt mind it at all._

 _"Me too." He replies. "I want to spend my whole life with you Katniss Everdeen." He says. I'm about to reach up to kiss him but I'm stopped by a knock on the door. I close my eyes in annoyance. Wait, who the hell is out in the woods at this time? Is it the Peackeepers? Did the see the smoke from the chimney?_

My eyes shoot open in fear and it takes me a couple of seconds to realise where I am. The fire has died out and the morning sun is beaming through the windows. The knocking from my dream comes back, almost making me jump out of my skin. I glance to the baby monitor on the table next to me, its on and its silent, good she's still asleep. The clock alerts me that its almost 8am. I am actually surprised that she is still asleep. She's normally awake by now.

The knocking comes again and I pull myself up, grabbing the baby monitor and drag my feet across the floor to the front door. The morning air floods in as I open it to find Ember standing there with a smile on his face. "Hey, I came to see how you where settling in?" He asks.

"Hey, You wanna come in?" I ask, standing aside as he strolls in. Honestly, I just didnt want to stand there. Plus this house could use another person in it.

"This place is a bit much isnt it?" He asks. "I mean, its nice but not really District 12 is it?" I let out a small laugh and lead him into the kitchen at the back of the house, sighing at the left over plates from last night.

"You're telling me. Its going to take a while to get used to." I say and flick the kettle on the make some more hot chocolate. "You want some?" I hold up the little tub to him.

"Never tried it. Whats it like?" He asks.

"Its amazing, you'll like it." I say and dont even wait for his reply before putting some of it in a cup for him.

"I'll take you're word for it." He says and I chuckle. Then I can hear crying. Willow's awake. "Do you want to sort her out whilst I finish up here?" He asks and I nod quickly before running from the room. I run up the stairs, making as much possible noise as I can and turn down the hallway to Willow's room. I find her in her crib crying as I thought she would be and pull her out. "Good morning baby." I say in the baby voice that I have got used to using now. "You hungry? Yes you are." She stops crying once I hold her, so I start walking back downstairs. My mother had bottled milk already set up for today. I had to use the years old breast pump thing to bottle it for her but she had it in a bag and everything ready because Willow is staying with Hazelle over night tonight so that I can enjoy the party. Hazelle isnt coming at all tonight because Posy isnt allowed so I talked to her about taking Willow and she agreed.

Ember is still in the kitchen when I get back down. The hot chocolate has been made and mine is sitting on the counter waiting for me. "You're right, this stuff is amazing!" He praises. "So you got anything planned for today? Before the Party?"

"Actually yeh, I was going to go into town to get some more baby stuff for the house, like a high-chair and maybe a couple toys." I say to him and he nods.

"You want some help?" He asks and I start to shake my head but I'm sensing he is a stubborn person as he starts to stop me with his hand again, just like he did yesterday. "I'm helping you." He smiles and drinks a little bit more of his hot chocolate. I grab a bottle of milk out of the bag on the side and give some of it to Willow. Whilst Willow drinks, I glance back at Ember. We havent talked since we where kids and I didnt realise I trusted him so much but I do. I mean I let him into my house without a second thought and I'm actually letting him meet Willow which is hard for me to do after how she was concieved. I never trust anybody this quickly, heck, it even took me a couple of months for me to trust Gale and he is my best friend, Could there just be something different about Ember, is he different than everyone else? Is it really possible to like somebody this much after only a day.

 **So... what did you think of chapter one? I bet a lot of you are confused about a couple of things but dont worry, eventually they will be cleared up ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The rest of the day goes by quite quickly, as I spend most of it shopping and tidying up. When I have finished, the house is spotless, everything is unpacked and I have everything that I need for Willow. Ember is still here, he came shopping with us and helped me pick out the best stuff. His father had given him his money for helping out in the Black-Smiths and he bought Willow a very nice pink dress, after a lot of me telling him not to, he bought it anyway. He is just about as stubborn as me. We dropped Willow off at Hazelles and now we are just waiting for Effie to show up. The look on Gale's face when I showed up at his house next to Ember was priceless. When Ember spoke to him, it was as if he was ready to punch Ember in the face.

I'm brought out of my thinking by a knock on the door. Must be Effie. I walk down the hallway and pull the door open, feeling Ember's presence behind me. "There she is! Our little champion." She steps through the door and embraces me, followed by my prep team, who's faces ligt up when they see me. "And who is this?" Her eyes fall on Ember and she walks past me to talk to him. I drown out their conversation though when Cinna walks through the still open door.

"Hey. How you doing?" He asks and I smile.

"Hey." I reply and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "I'm alright."

After that its all kind of a blur. My prep team get me in the bath and do my make-up and hair. Cinna brings out the dress I'll be wearing and Effie runs around telling everybody what to do. Ember however sits there like an idiot. I dont know why he doesnt just go home. At one point he has to endure a talk with Effie and I honestly feel so sorry for him. Half way through getting ready, I'm stopped by Effie and she has a huge smile on her face. "That young man is remarkeable. Is he your boyfriend?" I shake me head quickly and she frowns slighlty, her eyes still lit up from the smile. "Well how about I ask him to escort you to the party? Its common for the Victor to have a date and considering you dont have a boyfriend, I think it is only fitting. Cinna has some suits in different sizes, I'm sure one of them will fit him." I finally give up and agree, she has to ask him though because I dont want him to get the wrong idea by me asking him. I'm not up for a relationship, Willow comes first and thats the way it has always been. He probably knows that.

He says yes, regardless and by 4, he is ready. I have a feeling, today is going to be unlike anything he has ever encountered before. He gets to go to the party in a limo. He gets to probably go inside the Justice Building before we make our entrance to the party. He also gets to sit on the Victors table. Plus he actually gets to go to the meal. Nobody else does. Just me, him, my family, my team, The Mellarks and The Mayor and his family. Before we leave, I make sure to grab the letters that Leaven wrote, maybe if I see them tonight, I can give them over. Leaven had actually wrote me one too but it still lies on my kitchen table because I just cant bring myself to read it.

By the time we leave my house, my stomach is doing flips. I have to walk out the Justice Building with everyone staring at me, even if it is just mine and Leavens families. Its going to be hard. I have to go in the limo by myself as Ember hasnt finished getting ready yet and will meet us there but I'm alright with that because the limo will stop at the back entrance to the Building so nobody will see me until he is here. Atleast I will have someone next to me, to stop me falling off the stage or something. They want me to make a speech but not until the party is about to start and everyone is here, maybe by then I'll be used to the amount of people there and wont be as scared to stand on the stage by myself because I doubt that Ember, or anyone will be allowed to stand up there with me.

I slide into the back of the car with Haymitch and he starts to laugh at me. I can smell the liqour on his breathe and I shuffle as far away from him as I can but he carries on laughing. I roll my eyes just as the driver sets off. Luckily its not long before we get there and Haymitch, despite his need to laugh at me, leads me inside quickly so that the cameras dont get to us. He lets me go as soon as we are inside and Effie starts to go through tonights plans. "So first, Katniss will go outside and make her speech about Leaven and then we will see her greating the Mellarks-"

"I didnt know I had to do that?" I ask, worried.

"Yeh, it is custom for the Victor to greet the tributes family." I nod slowly and she carries on. "Thats when the meal will start. Katniss, you and Ember will be sitting on our table with Haymitch. Your family will be sitting on the table right behind us along with The Mellarks and the mayor and his daughter. After the three course meal, every else will arive for the party and Katniss will be handing out the shares of food to the district's people. Thats when the drinks will come out and no doubt, Haymitch will be too drunk to co-operate with anyone." We all laugh and the Mayor comes over to wish me good luck. "You ready?" Effie asks after about 20 minutes. "Everyone is here and sat down."

"Already?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeh. They're waiting for you." She leads me over to the door and I can feel my hands begin to shake. "The Mayor is just introducing you and then you're on." I'm standing at the door now and I can hear the Mayor not far from me on the other side of the door.

"... and here she is the wonderful Katniss Everdeen." The I'm being pushed through the door by Effie, followed by Haymitch not long after who bows and then leaves to sit at our table. I glance around. Ember is seated next to Haymitch and an empty seat on his other side for me. Prim and Madge are all seated at a table with the Mellark and Cinna and my prep team are just finding their places. The cameras are already on me and I feel my face go red. Effie is behind me, ready to escort me down the stairs when I have finished.

I didnt have a clue what I was going to say for this speech but now that I'm here and I can see the Mellarks looking up at me, I know what I am going to say and no doubt is it going to make me cry. "I know that these speeches are meant to be about how happy I am to be back but if I said that it wouldnt be true. I didnt want to come home and every day I hate myself because I wasnt able to get Lev home. I only knew him for a really short time but he made me feel something that I havent felt since my father died. He made me laugh even when I was going to my death. He was special and I dont understand how his family are dealing with this because I know that its really hard for me. I dont know wether I'll ever get over the grief that has plagued me since I got back. I think grief is just the period of time it takes for your mind to believe that somebodys gone. The only problem is that every part of your being is taking you back to the moment that they died. My father told me this once and I never understood it, until now." I feel the tears start to fall down my cheeks and I have no desire to stop them. I keep my eyes on all the Mellarks. This is for them not anyone else, not even me, just them. "The only thing that got me through the games was him, he helped me alot, just as I helped him. I want to say a personal thankyou to the Mellarks for raising such a great guy. I'd like to thank them for taking Me, Prim and my daughter in when my mother died. I dont know how we would have dealt with it, if it wasnt for you. And I also want to say how sorry I am that I couldnt get Lev back to you, I wanted too, I seriously did and I wish everyday that he was here, making me laugh but he isnt and I dont really know how long its going to take me to get used to that... Before the games Lev said something to me that stuck with me, he said 'only the good die young' and it took me back to a song that my father taught me and if its alright with everyone here, I'd like to sing it for you..." Its a very last minute decision but I know that I owe this to Leaven. I owe everything to Leaven.

 _A hand above the water_  
 _An angel reaching for the sky_  
 _Is it raining in heaven?_  
 _Do you want us to cry?_

 _And everywhere the broken-hearted_  
 _On every lonely avenue_  
 _No one could reach them_  
 _No one but you_

 _One by one_  
 _Only the good die young_  
 _They're only flying too close to the sun_  
 _And life goes on_  
 _Without you_

 _Another tricky situation_  
 _I get to drowin' in the Blues_  
 _And I find myself thinkin'_  
 _Well, what would you do?_

 _Yes! It was such an operation_  
 _Forever paying every due_  
 _Hell, you made a sensation_  
 _You found a way through, and..._

 _One by one_  
 _Only the good die young_  
 _They're only flying too close to the sun_  
 _We'll remember_  
 _Forever..._

 _And now the party must be over_  
 _I guess we'll never understand_  
 _The sense of your leaving_  
 _Was it the way it was planned?_

 _And so we grace another table_  
 _And raise our glasses one more time_  
 _There's a face at the window_  
 _And I ain't never, never sayin' goodbye_

 _One by one_  
 _Only the good die young_  
 _They're only flying too close to the sun_  
 _Cryin' for nothing_  
 _Cryin' for no one_  
 _No one but you_

"Thank you." I say and the very few people that are here start to clap. I feel the tears coming like a waterfall now and I think its about time I got to the table now. Everyone is looking up at me as if expecting something but I can feel Effie's hand on my shoulder, leading me towards the steps that I walked up when I was reaped. That day comes into my head, How I thought I was going to die, How I thought I was never going to see Willow again. How when the Male side was reaped, the boy looked familiar but I'm very sure that I didnt know him.

"Lets give her a hand folks. That speech was just amazing wasnt it?" The Mayor says behind me. "We all feel your pain Katniss. Leaven was such a great young man with such a bright future and we are sad to see him go." Thats just it though, they dont feel my pain. Did he die in their arms? No. The only people that feel anything similar to what I am feeling is The Mellarks and they wouldnt lie about it. As the Mayor finishes, Effie leads me over to them.

"Katniss. That speech was great, thank you." Mr Mellark says to me when I get over. He takes my hand in both of his and kisses it slightly. I feel the tears well up in my eye, thats what Leaven did, the night before we went into the games.

"Mr Mellark, I am so sorry about what happened. If I could go back in time and bring him home then I would." I say to him before I can stop myself. Beside him I see Rye Mellark looking at us and next to him is Peeta Mellark, watching the plate infront of him.

"Its okay. If he thought it was the right thing to do then I support him. He was a good man for doing what he did. He would never let a girl die, much less, one who had a child to come home too." I'm crying more now and I cant even control it anymore at all. Even if I wanted to or not. Mr Mellark still has hold of my hand and I dont even feel the need to take it away. I take a seat next to him, where the only empty seat on the table is. I'm guessing it was for Mrs Mellark but she didnt show.

"It was still horrible and it shouldnt have happened. Anyway, Lev wrote you all a letter each. It was Haymitch's idea actually but I promised him that I would bring them home and give them to you guys. I forgot about them the last couple of days and Haymitch had them anyway but here you go." I reach into my bag and pull out the 5 crumpled pieces of paper. One for each of the Mellarks and one for his girlfriend. "I dont really know his girlfriend but could you please make sure that she gets this?"

"I will make sure she gets it and thank you for keeping that promise." He says and I nod before handing each one of them there letter. When I try to hand Peeta's over, he isnt looking at me so Rye has to take it which I find rather odd. "I'm really sorry." I say turning back to Mr Mellark, handing him the last 2 letters for his wife and for Brooke, (Lev's girlfriend). The crying has drained my energy and I find my head dropping the tears falling onto my lap.

"Its okay Katniss. Dont cry over him, he wouldnt want you to." Mr Mellark says to me.

"Yeh, I guess you're right. But its hard-" I stop myself, crying more and get up to leave before I embarrass myself more. But as I stand up, I'm stopped by Rye.

Rye pulls me into his arms and I'm taken back by it at first. But it feels so nice, so familiar that I dont want to let go. "Thank you for everything you did for him. I really appreciate it." He says into my hair and I smile even though he cant see it. Over his shoulder, I see Peeta nodding in agreement. Thats when he finally lets me go and I smile at them all one more time before walking over to where Prim is sitting on the other side of the table. I hug her and walk over to Ember, taking my seat next to him.

"You alright?" He asks and I think about lying but instead I shake my head. I'm nowhere near alright and he probably knows that already. He pulls me to him and I lean my head on his shoulder whilst the food is delivered to our places by some Avox's from the Capitol. "Wow, this is alot!" Ember says with a small laugh.

"You get used to the portions dont worry." I reply and dig into the soup infront of me.

"I dont think I'm gonna need to get used to these portions." He replies, now stuffing his face. Its true, I doubt that he is going to get picked for the Hunger Games but then again, you never know. I laugh at him, watching him eat his food and I proceed to eat mine, with a lot more restraint than Ember is showing right now.

Soon enough the party starts and the tables are cleared away. Ember offers me a dance which I try to turn down but I catch sight of Effie over his shoulder scowling at me so I agree and allow him to drag me over to the middle of the dancfloor. The only problem with this is that nobody else is up dancing, its just us two. Could this be anymore embarrassing?

I catch the Mellarks sitting at a table not far from the dancfloor and most of them are talking about something but Peeta, the youngest, the one I cant seem to shake from my thoughts, is staring at me. Why would Peeta Mellark stare at me? What is his problem? Earlier on when I was talking to them, he wouldnt say anything to me at all. At first I thought that he might just be shy but from what Lev told me, he doesnt sound like the shy type and now he is staring at me. Whats that about? His stare is cut off by Brooke (Lev's girlfriend) pulling him out of his little trance, asking him to dance. He nods and she leads him to the dancefloor where he starts spinning her round, he still carries on glancing back at me a couple of times though.

"I think I need a drink." I say to Ember and he chuckles slightly.

"I'm right with you on that actually." He takes me hand which feels very comforting and pulls me away towards the table full of drinks. I grab a Strawberry Cider and he picks up a Mango one. "This is to you. Katniss Everdeen, winner of the 73rd Hunger Games." I smile as he clinks his bottle against mine and we both take a drink.

"I just remembered that you owe me a date." I say to him with a smile as he takes another big sip from his bottle.

"Oh yeh, well what do you say Tomorrow night, your house. You can put Willow to bed and then I'll cook you Dinner?" I smile at the thought.

"Yeh that sounds really nice." I reply and he smiles back.

"Then its a date." He nods and I nod in aggreement. Tomorrow night should be fun. My first date ever. I'm thinking maybe I should tell my mother soon about me and Ember. Maybe when it gets more serious. When the Cider in my hand has gone he hands me another. "After everything you have been through, I think you deserve to get drunk Katniss." I smile at him and he smiles back. I take a big gulp of my cider and he laughs at me when I notice that half of it is now gone. He follows me and gulps down his cider and it just carries on going like that. I dont think I've ever been this happy. Atleast someone is able to make me smile.

 _The room is empty, of course I thought it woudld be, what else are they going to put into a goodbye room other than a chair to sit on and assess your life in this precise moment. A snacks table, a fridge? no of course not, because the Capitol are assholes. They have torn me away from my baby, with just a 3 minute goodbye, which is not enough time for any mother but I know that I need to come home for her, I cant let her grow up without either of her parents. The door opens behind me and I turn, not actually expecting anymore guests to find Peeta Mellark of all people standing there. "Hi." He says to me, taking me by surprise._

 _"What are you doing here?" I ask. I cant be more happy that he is here but that doesnt mean that I undertsand it._

 _"I came to say goodbye..." He keeps his distance but I can still smell the bread that he must have baked recently and I take in every bit of him that I can. The way the light reflects off his blue eyes and his blonde hair that always seems to be a mess. His muscular arms that would make any teenage girl fall to their knees at his feet._

 _I need to say thankyou, even if this is the last time I see him, he needs to know. "I'm actually glad you came because I want to say thank you." I blurt out. I'm surprised he heard me actually._

 _"What for?" He asks._

 _"The bread, saving my life." The memory flashes through my head. Me sitting at the end of his garden, pale and thin, moments from death. Him throwing the bread out to me and me running out. The way he payed for it afterwards with his mother. "You saved my family and without you, I wouldnt have survived to have Willow and I thank you for that." The way that Willow was concieved had me depressed for a long time. It took Gale a good couple of months to get me to leave the house after I found out I was pregnant and mum told me that truth about what Eric did to me. I couldnt go outside without someone by my side. My mother had me on some kind of pills to keep me from freaking out. She said something about PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder._

 _"Well, your welcome." He says to me, I'm about to reply but I stop when I notice he wants to say something else. "I just wanted to say that..." He looks as if he is fighting for speech now. "... Goodbye..." He says. I have a feeling that he wasnt going to say that. I swear to god when the door shuts I hear sobbing and it sounds awfully like him._

My eyes shoot open, waking up from the memory of my goodbye with Peeta Mellark. Every night my dreams are filled with him and I'm still not entirely sure why I have such a huge connection to him. I never even knew him and he never even knew him. His goodbye still confuses me. Why did he even show up? I would have thought that he would have said his goodbye with his brother and left and gone home to grieve. Not to come and see someone like me who never even looked twice at him. Other than that day in the rain.

My head starts to pound at the light coming through the open window. How much did I drink last night. It's all kind of fuzzy after Ember gave me that second drink. Wait, Ember, I remember walking back with him and he stayed over, no he stayed in my-

I turn my head, jumping backwards when I see a head of blonde hair lying on the pillow next to me. He stirs as I reach the end of the bed and turns to look at me, rubbing the sleep from his eye. He is lying on his front, shirt all crumpled up and his hair all over the place. "Katniss?" He asks and I mumble something that resembles his name. "What are you doing?" He asks, not fazed at all about the fact that he is lying in my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"I walked you home because we got a bit drunk, except I seem to be a very sensible drunk, unlike yourself." He laughs quickly before carrying on, pulling himself round and up into a sitting position on my bed. "When we got here, I made us both a brew and you asked me to stay so I did. Then you broke more music out and forced me to dance which I did. Then got more drinks out and we got even more drunk before coming up here and I collapsed on the bed, but you... well..." He motions towards my torso and I follow his gaze. I'm wearing the shirt that he wore for the party yesterday. But not normally, I'm wearing it backwards. The shirt that he is wearing is the one that he showed up in when he came in the morning.

"What happened?" I ask him, noticing that I'm not wearing a bra but I am wearing my underpants.

"Well... when we came up here, I thought you forgot I was here but you knew I was here and you began to strip, to get changed I think but then you stopped when you just had your underpants on and you refused to get any clothes on so I had to button you up backwards before you finally passed out on the bed." He laughs slightly but I just drop my head in embarrassment.

"So you're telling me that you saw me half naked?" I ask him, my face going red.

"Yes but I like to think of myself as a gentleman." I nod in agreement and he throws the covers off him. "Right, well I'm going to get changed in the other room and then I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast, then we can go pick up Willow and I'll have to get home to see my parents and work for a bit but I'll be by later for our date." He smiles at me and leaves the room, grabbing his clothes off the chair in the corner. Cinna must have got him changed in here yesterday.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

After breakfast, I tell Ember that he can go home because I am was going to get some hunting done before I go to get Willow but truthfully, I need to talk to Masan. I planned on giving him some of my money because Leaven deserved it more than I did, I shouldnt even be alive right now. I also want to talk to Peeta about what his goodbye was all about. Something inside of me is telling me that no matter how sad the goodbye sounded, he is angry at me for what I did in the interview. Nobody needed to know that the sad, lonely, 15 year old Seam Slut with a daughter has a crush on the youngest baker. It probably ruined his reputation at school. I bet nobody wants to talk to him anymore because of me and I know that I just need to say something to him.

I'm currently on the way to the Bakery to talk to them all and I'm not quite sure how they are all going to take it. I'm not sure what I'm gonna say to be honest but I guess that might come when I get there. I know what I have to say to who but I dont know how to start the conversation or anything. I have a pocket full of money ready to give to Masan I'm just kind of worried that he wont accept it, maybe I can buy something off him. I'm gonna have to buy quite a lot though.

I make sure that I walk through the Seam, the long way so that I dont come onto the Square near the Blacksmiths, Ember would question why I'm here when I told him that I was hunting. I make it to the Bakery quicker than I thought I would and I walk around the back, a wave of nolstagia hitting me as I see the tree I almost died under. I've almost died loads of times, especially in the Hunger Games, but under that tree was the first time that I almost died and the first time that anyone other than my family has ever helped me, the crazy thing is I never thanked Peeta Mellark and at the moment, I cant remember why.

"Hi?" I hear someone say behind me. "Katniss?" Its Rye. The way he says my name makes it sound like he has known me for years and not like I recently just watched his older brother die. "You okay?"

I quickly turn around to him, trying not to look surprised. "Yeh, I'm fine. Is your dad in?" I ask him as casually as he said my name. It comes out kind of strained though as if I would be talking to someone I only just met.

"Yeh, you can come in you know, I'll just go and get him." I laugh at him, knowing full well that I can just walk in, I've told enough times and my little sister lives here anyway. "Dont worry, my mother is asleep. Out cold actually, dad slipped her some sleeping pills, she wont wake up until tonight." He knows I dont like his mother, but then again, who does. I nod and he leads inside the house through the back door. As he leaves to go and get his father, I find Prim sitting on the sofa and I join her. We dont have time to talk though as Masan walks through the door seconds later.

"Katniss, Hi." Mr Mellark says from somewhere near me and I pull myself out of my trance to look at him. "What can I help you with today?"

I pull myself off the sofa and take a step towards him. "Actually I came here to talk to you and then Peeta." I say to him and something in his face changes. When I mention Peeta, he seems to recoil from his normal, happy self. The reaction you would expect if I'd mentioned Leaven's name.

"Well, I'm here to talk to but Peeta is out with a friend and wont be back till tonight." He says and I nod in understanding.

He begins leading me further into the house so that I can talk to him when I hear a floor board squeek right above me. It cant have been Mrs Mellark, she wouldnt have woken up now if she is on sleeping pills, no way and whilst I was sat on the sofa, I could see the stairs and Rye didnt walk up them which means I'm being lied too. It must be Peeta, who else would it be. I decide to not say anything though. Peeta has his own mind, he is old enough to make his own decisions, so if they are lying to me then they must have a good enough reason, the only question is: why? I'm really surprised that I didnt get to speak to him, them couple of days that I lived here. I tried to wait up for him each night but I always ended up falling asleep before he got back from wherever he went.

Mr Mellark leads me into the upstairs sitting room and motions for me to sit down. "What would you like to talk about?" He asks.

"I would like to give you something." I say, reaching into my pocket for the envelope. He looks really nervous for some reason. It probably has something to with Peeta being here when he is supposed to be out with his friend all day. "Here." I pass him the envelope and he looks down at it, then back at me. "Open it." I say and he nods before slipping his finger under the flap and ripping it off. When it falls open in his hands, he almost falls out of his chair. It wouldnt surprise me if that is the most money he has ever held in his hands.

"Katniss, what is this?" He asks.

"I know you dont want to take it from me but I dont need it and I promised Lev that I would give it to you." I say even though I didnt promise Lev anything of the sort. He knows that his family can look after themselves.

"I cant take this." He says, handing it back to me.

"Please Mr Mellark. If not for you then for Rye and Peeta. Help them move out, buy them anything they want. And especially for Prim, she lives with you now, atleast let me put something in to help her. Please. I dont want it and Leaven deserved it more than I did." I say to him, I hold it out but he doesnt take it.

He shakes his head. "No you need it for your daughter." He says.

"Me and Willow already have more than enough. If you dont take it then it will just stay in my basement for years." I say but he still carries on shaking his head.

"Katniss, I cant. We will be fine. We dont need that. Thank you though." He stands up to show me the way out and I think about saying something back but I'm not going to change his mind and I know that so I give up, planning on going to talk to Rye. He will take it. Hopefully.

Mr Mellark shows me to the back door and I say a goodbye before setting off running round the front and through the door. Rye is sitting there, twirling a pen in his hands when I walk through the door. "Rye. I know we dont know eachother very well but I need you to do something for me. Well actually for Lev." We might not know eachother very well but he was the only one that I actually connected with whilst I was staying here. Prim seems to adore him which Im glad about.

He pulls himself to his feet and I walk over. "Anything." He says and I smile.

"I need you to give something to your dad. He wouldnt take it off me. Its a lot of money but I dont need it. I have all that I need and I promised Lev." I say to him and he just nods. I hand over the envelope and he looks inside. His eyes grow wild but he doesnt say anything to try and hand it back which I'm glad about it.

"I'll make sure he gets it Katniss dont worry." He says and I smile in return. Somehow, I knew that he would take it off me, I knew I could trust him with this.

I turn around and walk away from him, out the front door of the bakery. I better go and pick Willow up anyway. No time to stop and chat. I turn back to see Rye and he smiles at me and I wave back. Thats when I bump straight into someone, knocking me off my feet. I half expect it to be Ember but as soon as I open my eyes, my heart starts to beat and I feel myself scrambling away. Someone I havent seen in about a year and hope to never see again. Eric. He looks angry, its so familiar, The look on his face as he attacked me. Thats the only thing I can remember from that night, the look on his face. No humanity at all. He didnt care.

"You want to watch where you're going?" He asks but I cant feel my tongue at all. My brain is spinning and my eyes cant seem to focus. "Ah, Miss Everdeen. How are you today?" He asks and I can hear the sarcasm in his voice.

My feet carry on pushing me away, sudden memories flashing through my head. The pain he caused, the smell of his body. Things I dont want to remember and never have until this moment. His blonde hair shining from the light of the moon as he laughed at me for crying. Just little visions one by one.

Suddenly the door of the bakery flies open behind me and a boy appears. "You want to leave the lady alone?" I hear Peeta Mellark ask Eric. Why is he helping me?

"She bumped into me, I didnt do anything." He says in defence. I did bump into him this time but last time, it wasnt like that at all. Something starts screaming in my head and I feel pain like I've never felt before. A cry escapes my mouth but the pain goes as quickly as it came, leaving me with a massive headache.

"Maybe you should just go." Peeta says to Eric, earning him a death stare from the taller boy.

"And what you gonna do about it?" Eric asks in reply. Now its Peeta's turn to give him a death stare. Someone else materialises out of nowhere, standing behind Peeta. Rye.

"He wont, but I will. I've done it before Eric, I'll gladly do it again." Rye says.

"Fine I'll go." Then Eric turns on his heal and strides back the way that he came. Thats when Rye turns to Peeta.

"When did they let that asshole out?" He asks Peeta who shurgs his shoulder.

I pull myself up off the floor and wipe off the coal dust from my pants, my hands are shaking violently and my head is pounding like mad. "Thanks." I say to them both and they turn to me as if they didnt know I was here. Peeta nods before dissapearing back off into the Bakery. "Whats up with him?" I ask, my voice faltering.

"Just ignore him, he's not very social." Rye laughs and I nod. "Are you okay?"

I assess myself. "Yeh, just a little shaken up. Just seeing him brought back memories of the night he attacked me. I dont know why now but I've never been able to remember them before." I say to him, expecting him to say something in reply but when I look at him, fear spreads across his face. "Whats up?" I ask.

"You dont remember anything else?" He asks me.

"No, Just him. Why?" I ask, now very confused. I was only aware that he knew about me and Eric, I didnt reaise he cared, or is there something he isnt telling me?

"It doesnt matter. You better go home. I'll see you soon." Then he's gone without an explanation at all. I feel the tears begin to fall from my eyes, from everything. Eric, Rye, Peeta, Lev, The Games. My feet take me wherever and somehow I find myself at the Blacksmiths, looking into the eyes of Ember, the tears still streaming down my face.

He's the only one out front. I have no idea where his dad would be, probably in back somewhere doing his job. Just like Ember is. I believe that its just the two of them here as his mother died a while back. "Katniss?" He asks as I look at him, tears streaming down my face. "You okay?" He asks. Obviously I'm not. Why would I be crying otherwise?

"They released Eric." I mumble, surprised that he catched it but he did. "I just bumped into him." Luckily he knows what happened between me and Eric so it doesnt take long before his arms are wrapped around me. "It was horrible." His hand finds my hair and I sigh into his chest, the tears soaking his shirt.

"Ember can you..." I hear behind us and pull my head away from his chest to see Mr Oakley standing there, such a good way to meet his parents for the first time. "Katniss Everdeen? What are you doing here?" Apparently Ember hasnt told him that we we're now friends.

"I'm s-sorry." I mumble.

"Dad, I didnt think it was that important but I've been spending a lot of time with Katniss recently." Ember says to his dad and I grab his hand pulling it behind his back just for that extra little bit of comfort. I've never felt this close to someone and never this suddenly before. Its a very new experience but I like it.

"Oh, thats good. Hello dear, are you okay?" Mr Oakley asks me and the tears that I thought had gone, start coming back. I squeeze Embers hand tighter and he squeezes back. "Oh, I'm sorry, how about you come into the back and we can get you a glass of water or something?" I nod slightly and Mr Oakley leads me into the back of the Blacksmiths. Ember follows behind still keeping hold of my hand, only because I wont let him go. "What happened?" He asks his son.

"She's a bit shaken up. Eric Stratser got released from the cells today." Ember whispers to his father.

"I thought they would have kept him in longer for what he did." Sometimes its a good thing that everyone knows what happened to me, this way, I dont have to explain to anybody about it because firstly I dont remember most of it and it would be too hard to say, I think it would probably take me a while just to get my words out.

Mr Oakley walks off into the kitchen to get me a glass of water and Ember kneels down infront of the chair that I'm sitting on. "Its gonna be alright Katniss, if he comes anywhere near you or Willow, I'll sort him out." I smile at him and he smiles back. I can still feel his hand in mine and its still as comforting as it was earlier. "You'll be alright." I nod.

20 minutes later, I leave the Black-smiths, after offcially meeting his father and finishing atleast 3 glasses of water. All I know now is that I need to see Willow. Paranoia over Eric being out is overtaking me and I cant think of anything other than to get her home and lock the door. Now that I live in the Victors Village, it wont take him long to figure out where I live. He probably already has.

"You gonna be alright out there?" Ember asks me when we get to the front of the shop and his father has dissapeared into the back. "Give me a call when you get home, let me know you're alright." He smiles at me, pulling me in for a hug and I nod. It feels good to have someone care for once.

"I will. Goodbye." I say, pulling away and turning to walk out the back of the shop. Ember refused to let me go out the front, thinking that Eric might still be out there. I told him it was fine but he wouldnt listen.

"See you tonight." He smiles and I nod.

Its 3 hours before I see him again and for some reason I cant seem to get him out of my head. The way his hand felt in mine, the way it felt to be against his chest and his hand to be in my hair. Everything about him today was perfect. When Eric actually attacked me, no-one made me feel better but Ember just made me feel so happy that I have been itching for him all day. I hear the knock on the door and I just know that its him. A smile spreads across my face and I pretty much skip to the door. "Hey." He says as he stands there at the door. I automatically move to let him in and he steps over the threshold. I can see this being a very good night.

PEETA POV

 _"Peeta are you okay?" Katniss asks in my ear. For the past hour we have been lying on the floor in the Meadow just gazing up at the sky. Its felt good so far but then the conversation came up that I had been dreading. "I didnt want to upset you but its for the best, you know it is."_

 _"I know but I'm gonna lose you and I dont know if I'm ready for that." I say to her. Her fingers cup around my chin and she turns my face towards her, I obey and he lips are on mine in seconds. It feels amazing like it always does but my eyes disobey me and the tears fall,making her lips taste like salt._

 _"Stop that." She says pulling away from me, wiping my tears away. "We dont know how much longer we have left, there will be no crying." I try to will myself to stop crying but I cant and before I know it we are both crying and clutching onto eachother for dear life. As Katniss said, we dont know how much longer we have left._

I shoot up in bed, a cold sweat taking over my body. Just like I do every single morning. There are tears streaming down my face and I have to quickly wipe them away when I see Rye standing at the door with a frown playing on his lips. "Dreaming about her again?" He asks.

"I'm always dreaming about her Rye." He nods in understanding and walks away, leaving me to deal with my problems.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

11 MONTHS LATER.

Things have actually be going smoothly for once. Me and Ember have started dating and he is nearly always at my house. I like it. I like his company, it makes me feel like I'm actually wanted for once. My life has actually been pretty good for once. Gale is here quite a lot when he's not at school, Prim has spent a lot of time here too. Its like I actually have a functional family for once, regardless of the fact that me and Prim are now orphans and Willow no longer has any granparents at all. But then on some days, no-one is there and I must fall into some sort of depression or something because I cant even remember most of the day. I guess thats a side effect of this PTSD that Prim claims I have. I always find myself thinking of my Mother. Prim has moved back in with me, finally. She was upset when she left the Bakery and she even got a goodbye hug from Peeta which I couldnt help but smile at. She's been here for about 4 months now and she has settled in very well.

I seem to have become good friends with Rye Mellark aswell. I dont know how and I dont know why but one day he asked to be my friend and I said yes. Maybe it has something to do with Lev, I dont know. Peeta, however has barely said 2 words to me whilst we've been around eachother, which is hardly ever because everytime I show up, he seems to have somewhere else he needs to be. I asked Rye about it but he just said that 'Peet' is a very shy person. Even though yesterday I saw him having a nice conversation with just about everyone that walked into the Bakery as I was sat outside the Blacksmiths with Ember on his break. Peeta didnt see me which was good, he would probably just dissapear again. It might just simply be that he doesnt like me, I would be okay with that if he would just let me know, so I dont look like I'm trying too hard.

Last night, Ember had to stay at his own house and I missed his body next to mine but Prim had to stay in my bed, I couldnt let her stay anywhere else, she needed me. Today is her first ever reaping. She is so scared. Willow always has a way of cheering her up. She is meeting me after the reaping so that I can say goodbye to my daughter and then I will be leaving her again. I wouldnt be surprised if when I come back she has learnt to walk. She can already say 'Mama'. And 'Prim'. She tried to say Haymitch but it just came out as 'Mitch'. He said he didnt care. Oh yeh, Haymitch has agreed to be her Grandad. She still calls him 'Mitch' thought which is funny. Rye agreed to be her Uncle which I was delighted about but I havent been able to talk to Peeta ro ask him yet. Ember is just 'Ember' but she cant say that yet so she just says 'Em'. She once called him Dada and he couldnt stop smiling which I thought was pretty cute.

And last but not least, I got my hair cut. So did Ember. That long curly hair that almost reached his shoulders is gone. Its not much shorter but its above his ears which I'm glad about. Mine, however is just at my shoulders. I honestly thought that it was time for a change. Ember understood and cut it for me. It didnt go very well first so we had to get Prim to cut both of our hair.

"Katniss?" Someone asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look up to find Prim stood there. "I thought you'd be gone already?" She asks. Its 10 in the morning and I have to go and see Gale and then get to the Town Square to see Ember and to meet Haymitch and Effie before the reaping.

"Yeh, I'm going now. Sorry, I was thinking." I say to her and she nods before leaving the room. I must have been stood in my bedroom now for atleast half an hour, just doing nothing.

I finally walk out of my room and downstairs, hearing it almost immediately. "Mama! Mama!" As I do every morning, I swoop Willow up into my arms and she laughs at me. She makes me so happy when she laughs like that. If only she knew about everything that was going on. Thats just it though, I wouldnt want her to know about all this. That is the last thing that I want. I place her back down on the floor with tears forming in my eyes. Prim swoops her up and stands infront of me.

"I'll find you later okay?" I say to Prim and she nods. I give her a long hug and walk out the door. I wasnt able to go hunting this morning, as the whole place is crawling with Peacekeepers and as it would be okay if Gale went out the district, a lot of eyes are on me and if I just dissapeared people would notice and I doubt I would even make it to the Capitol.

The walk to the Town Square is short but feels a lot longer. Its very strange for some reason, this year I know that I am going to the Capitol, last year I had no idea. Its worse this time as well, especially for me. One of the many people that I know and care about could be picked today, I know its always been like that but before I could Volunteer or go in to save Ember or Rye or something but this time I'm just a mentor, I cant go in with them, I just have to sit there watching and hoping that everything will turn out okay.

In the Square, everyone seems to be out. Its not unusual but the shops are all still open, or supposed to be anyway. I catch sight of Ember standing in the centre, watching the Bakery. I follow his eyes and see that the Canopy over the window is now covering the door and there seems to be glass all over the floor. "Whats going on?" I ask Ember, making him jump slightly as I appear next to him.

"Dunno. Some idiot pulled it down. He was wearing a hood, no-one saw his face. Just some kids playing a prank probably. I watched the whole thing. If Peeta didnt move when he did, he would have been crushed." Ember says, kissing me quickly on the cheek

"I better go and help." I say to him and he nods. I hand him my coat that I was holding in my hand and run to help. "Hey." I shout as I get close.

"Katniss!" Rye replies with a smile on his face. "We cant get the pole from the Canopy out the window. It seem to be lodged on something and we havent found anyone small enough to get through to the inside yet." He has his hands on his waist and sweat covering his forehead. Something tells me they have been at this a while. "Peet is leveraging the pole to try and get people under but he can never hold it long enough for someone to slip under."

"Why dont you walk round back?" I ask them. I know that they have a perfectly functional back door.

"Because Peet locked it, the keys are on the table inside and Dad is walking Mum to her sisters so he isnt here." Rye says.

I already have a plan forming in my mind. Peeta seems to have emerged out of nowhere and is standing behind Rye, looking stressed. "Ok, you guys just wait a second, I have a plan." Rye is about to say something but I set off running back to Ember. "Hey, do you still have them big blocks of metal?" I ask him.

"Yeh, we always have them. Why?" He asks, his face holding nothing but confusion.

"They need something to Leverage with, do you think you would be able to get it for me?" I ask him and he sighs, un-crossing his arms and giving me a quick kiss before running off to the Black-Smiths, leaving my jacket on the bench where it was when I came back.

I walk back over the Bakery slowly, knowing full well that its goint to take Ember a long while to get that thing out here. I'm actually surprised none of the Peacekeepers stopped to help. They are just getting all the ropes up and making sure everything is set up for the reaping. They dont seem to care that they beloved Town Square is falling to pieces. "Care to tell us about your plan?" Rye asks.

"Yeh, You said you needed something to keep it leveraged? Well Ember has a big block of metal at the Black-Smiths. He said he'd go get it and we can put it there so that I can climb in." I say to him.

"You?" Peeta asks from behind Rye and just hearing his voice is weird. He sounds so much like Lev.

"Yeh. I'm small enough to fit through that hole and both of you know I am." They both nod in agreement and we wait for Ember to show up.

Behind me, makes a really loud noise and my stomach almost drops, it scares me that much. I spin around quickly to the sound of clanking metal and I expect to see Ember but instead I see something that never happens in this district. The Peacekeepers are in an uproar, trying to get at someone. In the middle of them all is a woman. Her hair is turning grey but her face looks late 30s. About the same age as my mother.

I'm stood there frozen, watching as she gets out of the Peacekeepers grips again and again. Then her eyes lock on me and I feel the need to move back but I cant move. Everyone around me begins to scatter as she runs for me on tired legs. By the look of it, I'd say that she has been locked in the cells for atleast 10 years. She doesnt look familiar to me at all though, but the the way she is running towards me makes me think that she knows me which is probably one of the reasons why I cant move.

When she finally gets to me, she takes my face in her hands and I can feel my heart banging in my chest. "Oh my god, you look exactly like your father. Katniss is it? I have missed you every day since you where born." She chokes out. I stumble back slightly but the look in her eyes makes me stay. Her eyes, there is something about them that makes her look familiar. Thats when I decide to stay and help her. I grab her arms and hold her upright as she looks like she is about to collapse at any second. "Who are you?" I ask her.

"Find Elijah. He knows. He always knows. He's looking for you. You need him." She says.

"Who's Elijah?" I ask quickly, the Peacekeepers are already running towards us and I catch sight of Ember leaving the Black-smiths and running to my aid.

"You're... B-Brother..." Then her legs seem to give up beneath her and she falls, hitting the floor with a loud thump. I stand there motionless for a second. Brother? She must have been crazy. I dont have a brother. She must have thought I was someone else. But she said my name? How would she know my name? Why was she there the day I was born? Maybe Prim will know?

I feel someone crash into my side and turn to see Ember, looking at me with worry on his face. I only have tears in my eyes though. I cant even watch the Peacekeepers take her away. I turn fully and fall into Ember's arms. "Its okay." He says, stroking my hair.

"Ember..." I mumble pulling away. He still has a hand on my face. "She said I had a brother?" I say and his eyebrows crease.

"Katniss, she was just crazy, did you actually see her?" He asks a little too sarcastically. I just narrow my eyes at him. "Sorry.." He finally says and I pull away from him, wiping my eyes.

"I dont care if she looks crazy Ember. There was something about her that made me trust her. I dont know what it was but she seemed really familiar. Like I'd met her before. She said she was there the day I was born and she knew my name. She also told me that I looked exactly like my father." I say to him and thats when he has nothing to say. Apparently it confused him too.

"Well, we can talk about it some other time, right now, we have a Canopy to fix and you need to get ready for the reaping remember." I nod and he runs off the get the metal thing that his dad is helping him with. I turn back to Rye and Peeta who are just standing there.

"I'm fine." I say and they nod.

By the time I'm finally into the Bakery, my mind has gone over every single possibility that there could actually be about this woman. I dont have a clue who she is or where I have seem them bloody green eyes before. Nobody in 12 has green eyes which means she isnt even from here so this 'Elijah' that she speaks of might not be from here either so how the hell am I supposed to find him? Maybe I can persuade the Mayor to let me look at the records of the other districts.

"Katniss you okay?" I hear Rye shout.

"Yeh, I'm good." I reply, looking down at myself. I cut my elbow on a bit of glass but other than that I'm just covered in coal dust. Effie is definitely not going to like this.

The canopy is blocking all light that is trying to enter the Bakery so I can hardly see a thing. "I'm just trying to find it!" I shout to him and he doesnt say anything back so I guess he's waiting. I feel my way down the pole, I can just about see it. About half way down, my hand catches on something metal. It takes me all of 3 seconds to realise that its stuck on the display cabinet. I pull on it but I cant seem to get it to budge. I decide to get them to help me. Rye said the keys are on the table and I'm guessing he was on about the one in the back because there isnt anything on this table. "I'm gonna unlock the back door. It wont budge, you'll need to help me!" I shout to them and set off towards the back. Its not hard to find the back door, considering I have memorised the kitchen after standing at the back door so often.

I slide the key in the lock and as soon as the door opens, Peeta walks through. "Rye has to help life the canopy so I came instead." I nod and follow him through to the front.

"Right, the pole is caught on one of the display cabinet but I'm not strong enough to move it." He turns away from me and grips the cabinet, pulling with about as much strength as I was trying. It moves a little and so I begin to help and after a couple of pulls, me and Peeta both fall back onto the floor, taking the cabinet with us. "Pull!" I shout to Rye and a minute later the Bakery floods with light and I'm helped up off the floor by Ember.

"Katniss Everdeen what the hell do you think you are doing!" I hear from outside and I sigh at the voice that I know so well. Effie Trinket has arrived. "Look at yourself, you're covered in dust!" She pulls out a little rag in her pocket and begins dabbing me. I can see Haymitch behind her, laughing. I cant help but laughs along as she drags me out of the Bakery and into the Square.

"I had to help out a friend." I reply as she lets go of me once I'm stood next to Haymitch who is still laughing.

"Well you have a reaping to get ready for. Cinna is inside, maybe he can help." She looks at my clothes in disgust and turns to walk away. "Come on!"

I hang back to talk to Rye though. "Rye, good luck today. You too Peeta." I say to Peeta who has just appeared behind him. "I'll come see you both later before I leave." Rye quickly brings me in for a one armed hug and pulls away pretty quickly, then I turn to Ember who pulls me in his arms straight away.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too, good luck today. Dont do anything stupid." I say with a smile and he kisses me. "Here." I pull my house keys out of my coat pocket and hand them to him. "A lot of your stuff is still there but you can stay there if you want and look after Willow. Masan will be helping you, along with Prim but I'd like you to stay the nights with her." He nods and Haymitch starts pulling me away. Effie, who stopped, starts moving again once we are walking behind her.

"Katniss Everdeen what the hell do you think you are doing?" Haymitch asks, mimmicing Effie's voice and I find myself laughing. Haymitch is laughing too but I dont think he stopped laughing yet.

"I heard that Haymitch and if you dont want me to take away your alcohol whilst we are in the Capitol, I suggest you hurry up." Effie shouts over her shoulder.

"You dont scare me woman!" Haymitch shouts back, linking his arm around mine whilst we both laugh.

"Not yet." Effie replies and we both fall into a fit of laughing.

Inside the Justice Building, I'm ambushed by my prep team, getting the same abuse that I did from Effie. How I look a mess and how I shouldnt have done what I did, blah blah blah. Then Flavius brings up my hair and I roll my eyes. "There's hardly any of it left Katniss, what have you done?"

"I wanted to cut it, I got bored of it." I reply. I have had the same reply for 5 months. Almost everyone has asked me what I did to my hair, like its their decision what I do. They all give me dirty looks

"Could you please let us know the next time you decide to cut it, as Cinna had sorted your dress out to match your hair." Octavia says to me and I feel a slight laugh fall from my lips.

"Don't worry, Cinna already knows that I cut my hair." I say and they all seem to relax. I told Cinna on the phone a couple weeks back when he rang me talking about my dress for the reaping. For my talent, I 'make' clothes. Cinna actually makes them but we just pass them off as my own, he enjoys doing it so I do. I have helped making a few but I can't yet do the big jobs. I'm getting the hang of it though. I have skilled hands from skinning squirrels and nimble fingers from my bow so it's not that hard for me.

They fall into silence again and carry on prepping me for Cinna who will be taking care of my hair, makeup and clothes which I supposedly designed. This one I did help with. I made sure it fit my needs. Long sleeves, forest green. I wanted to make it a jump suit but Cinna said that It had to be a dress and I had to wear heals. I went along with it anyway. I don't care what I wear as long as no one I love is reaped. Normally the prep team wouldnt be here for the reaping but apparently this year its different because they even got a prep team for Haymitch.

Either way, I'm more than happy when I'm finally handed over to Cinna. "Hey Darling. I was thinking about you not wanting to wear a dress." He says to me as I sit down infront of him with nothing but a thin robe on. I dont feel awkward anymore though, he's already seen it all. I nod for him to carry on and he does. "I went to your house whilst you where in the square. I thought you where in and I was going to talk to you about it then but the place was empty so I just went ahead and got some of your own clothes from your wardrobe." He smiles at me and I smile back. About a month ago I kept comlpaining about what I had to wear and how I didnt like it.

"What am I wearing?" I ask him.

"I found a very pleasant combination of a blue button down polo and some black jeans." I smile as he says it. Thats what Ember got me for my birthday. "I'm guessing by that face that you know which clothes I'm on about?"

"Yeh, my boyfriend got them for my birthday. That night he took me out for a meal and I wasnt allowed to wear anything but them clothes." I smile at the memory and I catch Cinna smiling too.

"I'm glad you're finally happy Katniss." He says and I smile to him.

"Me too."

As Cinna helps me dress and sorts out my hair and make-up, my mind begins to wonder. Firstly to Ember and then somehow I end up on that crazy lady that ran to me in the square. She was crazy but when she mentioned this 'Elijah' I felt something deep inside like I know Elijah or I know her. Something that made me trust her. I dont know if she was right about the brother thing because my parents never had any other kids. My mum was a teenager when she had me I dont see myself having an older sibling. If it was a younger sibling I would remember them being born.

Maybe I can look up in the records when I get back. The woman would be in the books, they always put prisoners in the books. They taught us that in school. All I have to do is get my hands on that book and look her up and see if she is related to this Elijah person. Or I could find myself. If what she is saying is true then he would be somewhere near my name. Wait, they have the citizen book on the desk on the way in. Its always on the presidents desk.. I just need to get hold of it.

I could just quickly grab it as I'm being announced and smuggle it to the Capitol. That way they can go on a search for it in the district but it wont be there. That is probably the best plan there is, when I get back into the district, I can replace it without anyone knowing. Its a well known fact that the cameras in the Justice Building arent turned on during the Reaping day. Perfect time to do something illegal in the most important building in the district.

Once I'm done with Cinna, I'm sitting with Haymitch, my eyes on the book that is lying on the edge of the Presidents Desk. The president is already outside and the only person in here is one peacekeeper, he's not watching us though, he is more fascinated by the crowd outside. I could just quickly grab it right now but I dont have anywhere to hide it. I quickly turn to Haymitch who surprisingly isnt drunk for once. I think thats because I shouted at him and told him he wouldnt be allowed to see Rosie if he was drunk today. Appearently he took it quite seriously.

His jacket seems to have really big pockets. "Haymitch?" I whisper and his head snaps towards mine like he was in some deep thought. "Can you do me a huge favour?" I ask him and his brows crease.

"What you talking about sweetheart?" He asks, in the same volume that I was talking to him.

"I need you to steal the citizens book for me. Its a really long story and its very important. I dont have anywhere to put it. Please?" I ask him and his face turns blank for a second before he nods and pulls himself quietly to his feet, walking over to stand next to the Peacekeeper.

"Lot of people isnt there?" Haymitch says, starting up a conversation. The Peacekeeper nods and carries on looking out the window. I'm guessing this is his way of having a normal reason to be standing up.

My suspiscions are comfirmed when he starts walking back. His hand grazes along the desk as he walks past it and its hardly even seen as he slips the book into his pocket and takes his seat back next to me. "You owe me big time." He mumbles and I laugh slightly. I really do owe him for this.

When Haymitch is finally called, I've all but fallen asleep. I dont know what she was talking about but it seemed to take a long time. I pull myself up to my feet as Haymitch walks through the doors, waving. I think this is his first reaping where he is actually sober. I take my place inside the doors and wait to be announced. "And it is my great pleasure to announce the newest Victor of the Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen." My feet start to move and the cold air hits me. I smile though, atleast I attempt to. My eyes automatically fall on Prim. She looks terrified.

I take my seat next to Haymitch and scan the crowd. I find Ember in the 18 year old section stood near Rye. Near them is Gale who looks as strong as ever. His eyes arent on me, they are on Rory as he stands right at the front focusing on Prim as they have a little silent conversation. Then I find Peeta, he is staring right up at me as I look down at him, then he casts his eyes away and looks towards the ground. Just a year ago, their brother was standing in this very square, being reaped. I find myself thinking about that day and I have to stop the tears that come from my eyes. Back then, I didnt know Leaven and I was already planning his death when we went onto the train because at all costs I had to come home to my sister and Willow. I couldnt give up for anyone, not even him and then I got to know him. Worst decision of my life because it hurt like hell when he died.

I look away from them all and towards Effie as she taps the microphone again. "Right, as usual, Ladies First." She leaves the Microphone and walks over to the girls bowl, the sound of her heals bouncing off every single wall in the square. I close my eyes and hope that it isnt Prim. And it isnt. "Terra Kade." I know that name.

She and he little sister and the Book-makers daughters. I know that because Sarah Kade, her little sister is Rye's girlfriend. I find Sarah in the crowd and she's looking towards her sister with tears in her eyes. Now I find myself hoping that she wont volunteer, that would tear Rye apart.

Luckily she doesnt and before I know it, she is standing infront of me and Haymitch with her fingers laced together behind her back. I can see her legs shaking from fear and I can hear the sobs coming from the back of her throat. "Now for the boys." Effie says into the microphone and now I'm even more scared. They are more people on the boys side who I dont want to be picked. But the a great number more of people that I dont even know.

Effie fishes around in the bowl for what feels forever before finally closing her hand around one clip of paper and bringing it back over to the microphone where she slides her nail under the seal and pulls it open. I hold my breathe as she reads the name and when she does, my heart drops into my stomach.

"Peeta Mellark." I find him in the crowd and he doesnt look surprised at all. He lets the Peacekeepers escort him up and then he's standing there as strong as he always is. I glance back towards Rye and he looks scared but something in his eyes looks like he already knew it was coming. His dad looks the same. Whats going on?

The Mayor pulls himself up to say the Treaty of Treason which seems to take forever but eventually he finishes, orders Terra and Peeta to shake hands and then they are ushered into the Justice Building.


	5. Chapter 5

**Here it is chapter 5. I know its been a long time since I updated a story but I just recently got a job and I'm tired most of the time... sorry but I hope this makes up for it :)**

* * *

 **5.**

I'm not even friends with Peeta, we don't even have any sort of a bond. I think he's actually scared of me. But something deep inside of me is forcing the tears out of my eyes and I grip the chair underneath me with my fingernails, staring out over the emptying square. Haymitch has gone. He went to talk to Effie a while back.

A few people are still in the square. Rye and Sarah are both there, clutching onto each other. Prim is standing off to the side with Ember who is holding Willow, all of them ready to say goodbye to me. I already said goodbye to Gale yesterday so he already left with Rory to get home. Masan is there standing by himself. I look down at him and Rye and for some reason they look back. I can't let them be the only 2 people left. Yeh sure they have Aymee but she's horrible to them all, I can't let them only have each other. I need to bring Peeta home.

Then I look at Sarah. The tears falling from here eyes and I think about her sister. What is her life going to be like if she doesn't have her older sister by her side? Sure she has her dad but it's definitely not the same.

I finally let go of the chair and decide to walk down to see them all. First is Rye, as he is closest to the steps, waiting to go see his brother. As soon as I look in his eyes I cry even more and surprise myself by wrapping my arms around him. I can tell he is trying to hold in the tears as I hear him choke on his sobs. "It's going to be okay, I promise." I say, then pull away and smile at him. He smiles back and I turn toward my family.

Rye walks off up the steps as a Peacekeeper calls him and Sarah, my family set off walking towards me. "Hey." Ember mumbles, pulling me into his arms. "I'm so sorry about this, I know you care about him."

When he pulls away I nod. "I just can't see the Mellarks lose another family member. It's not right." I say to him and he nods, handing me Willow who wraps her arms around my shoulder and kisses me straight on the nose like she always does.

"Mama?" She asks and I laugh at her cute little voice.

"I love you Willow. You be good for Ember whilst I'm away. Masan will be there too, you behave okay?" I ask and her bottom lip sticks out like it usually does when she is about to cry and I bring her close to me. I know she hardly understands what I'm saying but somehow she understood that I was going away. I hand her back over to Ember who snuggles her close under his jacket.

"We will see you when you get back." Prim says and I give her a hug. "And I know that you will have a new Victor." She smiles at me and I turn away from them. Masan has already gone and Rye and Sarah are walking down the stairs, tears in both of their eyes.

That's when Haymitch's voice appears out of nowhere like it always does. "Sweetheart if you want to live to see tomorrow I suggest you get your ass up these steps so me and you can get to the Train Station. Effie is almost pulling the hair out of her wig!" He shouts and I moan, turning back towards my family and giving Ember and Willow a quick kiss each before running off to join Haymitch at the doors. "When we get on the train, you are going to explain to me why the hell I have this thing in my pocket." He mumbles and I nod.

Me and Haymitch get offered to take the car but we decide to walk so I can explain everything to him. Normally we wouldn't even have the chance to walk, we would have to take the car but Haymitch ends up having an argument with Effie over it and eventually just walks away so we set off. I quickly grab my jacket off Cinna and we go on our way.

"So what's this about?" Haymitch asks just as we leave the town square. There are already cameras everywhere getting pictures of me and him so we have to keep our voices as low as possible.

I turn to him trying to speak through my fake smile and he leans in closer to me to catch my speech. "I'm not really sure my self but when I was in the town square earlier. Just before I went into the bakery, there was a commotion with the Peacekeepers and a woman ran up to me, she had chains wrapped around her hands so she had obviously broke free from the cells. She knew me, I don't know how and I don't know why because I didn't know her but she said I had a brother. I figured that it would say it in that book if I did. I didn't have big enough pockets and you did so I asked you." I explain to him.

He turns away from me, thinking it over. "Did it ever cross your mind that she might just be mad?" He asks me.

Why does everyone keep saying that? "Of course it did but something inside me made me believe her. I don't know what it was but when o looked into her eyes they looked familiar." I say to him.

"Did she happen to tell you her name?" He asks.

"No, she didn't have time. After she told me I had a brother, she just collapsed. I think she's still alive though, the peacekeepers just dragged her back off. She said his name was Elijah." I look at him, waiting for an answer but he seems lost for words. "That's why I have the book. There can't be that many people with the name Elijah. If he lives in 12 in sure I'll find him."

He nods, we are in the train yard now, reporters everywhere. "I'm sure you will." Then we both step up onto the train. It feels so much different than last year stepping onto this train, it's exactly the same setting. Stepping on, having pictures taken of me and Haymitch being here. This year though, my heart is filled with so much more dread. I'm not going to my death this time I'm sending 2 tributes to the games, 2 people that have become quite important to me since the last games. I only ever met Terra twice but I knew Sarah through Rye and I can't allow her to lose her sister. But Peeta is very important to me for some unknown reason and I can't just let him die. "I'll be waiting in the bar car." Haymitch says and I nod. He might have promised not to drink today but even I want a drink right now so I can't tell him not to. Instead I find myself sitting in the same seat as I did last year with Lev next to me. This is where Effie brings the tributes when they arrive so I might as well just wait for them. I need to get started as soon as I can. I'll let Haymitch have today by himself and he can help tomorrow.

Outside the window I can see the trees. Normally it would comfort me but then my vision is filled with flash. I look down to see the cameras still there so I draw the curtains.

My mind is racing with the events of the day. It all started out normal, waking up to see my sister and my daughter. Then I was helping in the square and everything changed. That woman coming up to me has changed my whole life. Something in my mind is telling me that it's more than me just having a brother. What if there are more things that I haven't been told about myself?

I seem to stay there for at least an hour before Effie walks in. "And if you both stay in here, I will go to find Haymitch." I turn towards her, wiping tears from my face and she looks at me.

"It's fine Effie, I'm giving him the night off. I'm taking them today." I say to her, just as Peeta and Terra walk through the door, both looking scared and surprised at the same time. They can't seem to stop looking around at the room. Of course they would, they have never seen anything like this before. "Please sit." I say to them both and Effie gives me a nod before walking past me and out the other door.

Peeta and Terra sit in front of me. Terra right in front of me and Peeta across from where Lev sat. They are both looking at me as I am looking at them, trying to figure out what I'm gonna say. "Okay, I'm completely new at this but I'm so sorry that this happened to both of you and I want you to know that I'm here to help in anyway that I can." I say, my voice faltering slightly.

"Are you okay?" Terra asks me. "You look like you've been crying."

"Yeh, sorry this train brings back memories that I would rather not bring up." I say to her and she nods. I look to Peeta and he just looks away. "Right, today I'm not going to do any mentoring. I think you've been through enough today. We will start at breakfast tomorrow morning if that's okay with you two." They both nod at me. "Has Effie shows you both your rooms?" They both shake their heads. "Well if you are anything like me last year then you would rather be left alone." Their eyes are downcast to the floor now which I'm taking as a yes. "Well your bedrooms are just out this door." I point to the one they just came through. "One door says female and one says male. You will find clothes to wear and breakfast is at 8am. I'm sure Effie will be round to wake you up. I'd get up when she says or Haymitch will come round and trust me you don't want that." I say. "All the food in this room is free for you to eat and if you need anything, there is Avox's everywhere and through the other door at the back of this room is everything else. Me and Haymitch will be sleeping down there. You both have bathrooms in your room and clean toothbrushes and stuff to use, until we get to the Capitol tomorrow morning. Once again I am so sorry about all this but we will try to make you as comfortable as possible until the games come round." I pull myself up before I start crying again and they follow me in standing up, facing towards the door.

As I'm walking away I'm stopped by something, a hand. "Katniss can I talk to you." I hear him say and for a minute I feel like I'm in the past. This time last year I tried to walk away from Lev and he grabbed me by the arm and said those exact words to me, in a very very similar voice. I turn to see Peeta standing there. Terra had already left. It's just me and him and I automatically feel kind of awkward but I also want to cry and I don't know wether to walk away or stay. Eventually I chose to stay.

"Yeh what's up?" I ask him. "Can we make this quick I've got to go and see Haymitch." He nods and let's me arm go.

"I just wanted to say thank you." He says.

"What for?" I ask.

"I never really said anything about it before but for Lev. You helped him in the games even though it didn't end well and I will always be thankful for it." I nod to him because I'm afraid that if I say anything I'll cry. "Well I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." I mumble and turn to walk away, feeling his eyes still on me as I get out the door as quickly as I can.

I find the bar car easily enough even though I've never been in it before. Tributes are only allowed in the dining/ sitting room and their bedrooms so this is all new to me. A Peacekeeper lets me in as he is there to make sure the tributes don't stray too far. Haymitch is sitting at the bar with a bottle infront of him just staring at it. "How'd it go?" He asks without even looking up.

"Alright. I just explained to them where their bedrooms where and that and then told them that we will start tomorrow morning. They need today to be alone." I take a seat next to him and grab a bottle of cider. They don't have anyone handing out the drinks, it's a free bar so we can grab as much as we want. I bet Haymitch loves that.

"Okay." Is all he says and we carry on drinking in silence.

About 20 minutes later he pulls out the book and I move to shove it somewhere out of sight but he stops me. "Don't worry there isn't any cameras in here, you're safe." He says, so I open it. It's old and dusty. I don't know how long it was sitting on that desk but it must have been a long time.

I start to flick through it find that it says more than just the names of people in the district. It has their ages, where they live and where they work in it. At the front it says a bunch of dates. I'm guessing the last date on the page is when it was last updated which would make it 11 years ago. I'm guessing that's how long it's been sat on his desk.

The names are all in alphabetical order going off the last name so it doesn't take long to find 'Everdeen'. The strange this is though that the name starts with my father. On my mothers side it goes all the way to her great grandparents who would have been around when Panem was created.

I look back at my fathers name and see something stranger. My name has been scribbled in. Everyone else's is block writing except mine. Like I wasn't supposed to be in here. The other weird thing is that there isn't a line from my mother to me like there is with Prim. Instead my name is coming off my fathers via a squiggly line and on the other side of mine is another name that's been scribbled in. 'Priscilla S'.

Who is Priscilla S and why is she in the place where my mother should be? I try to look her up but she isn't in here at all. No house, no age, nothing. Is this book trying to say that my whole life my mother hasn't even been my mother? How can that even be possible? I only remember her, there was no other woman at all in my earlier life, I know that much. Dad never mentioned anything about someone called Priscilla. Not to me anyway. If it's true the My Mother would know but the only problem is that shes dead. How am I meant to find out if its true?

"You find anything?" Haymitch asks me and I quickly shake me head. I can't tell him about this, I can't tell anyone.

I do the thing I was meant to do and look up the name Elijah but considering it goes off last names I'm gonna have to go through it all. This is going to take a while.

I go to bed that night still reading through the book, reading about people I've never even heard of to get the truth about who I really am. The next day I slide it into the inside pocket of one of the jackets that are there for me to use before going to breakfast.

Sitting at the breakfast table is kind of boring as I woke up at about 5 so I get to sit here by myself for a couple of hours until people show up. It's okay though, it gives me time to think.

I was up quite late last night thinking this over. I can't possibly have a different mother. Why would I have never been told about it? They might have planned to tell me but what if it is true? I might not even be the person I grew up as. What if I'm someone completely different? Surely they wouldn't keep something this huge from me my whole life. Or would they? Then there is Prim, my little Primrose, I wouldn't actually be her sister. She's going to be heartbroken. After everything we have been through.

If this Priscilla isn't from District 12 then where the hell is she from? It sounds kind of like a Capitol name but if she is from the Capitol why would they have her name in the District 12 book? She could have just been forgotten. Or this could just be some kind of misunderstanding or something. It might all be a lie, I could be thinking too much into it.

What if I'm not even from 12? I always felt like I was different but not different enough to be from somewhere else. What if everything that has ever happened in my life was always a lie. I remember my mother mentioning once that when I was born I was different to most babies. She said I was calmer. I don't know if that means anything but what if it does?

"Katniss?" Someone says and I look up to see the table full. Haymitch is sitting on the left of me and Terra and Peeta are sitting across from us. "What do you think?" It was Haymitch that's spoke.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." I mumble, my voice sounding like I haven't used it in days.

"About the stylists? How are they?" He asks, a small laugh falls out of his mouth.

I look towards Peeta and Terra who are eating their breakfast and nod. "Yeh they're great, you'll like them." I mumble, my voice still off.

"Well that's sorted-" Haymitch says and goes into a conversation about Cinna and Portia whilst I space out again. That is until I hear my name again and snap back to reality, now with a tear in my eye.

"Katniss? Are you okay?" I hear Terra ask and I look around at them all, realising just how selfish I am being right now. Yes I just found out that everything I ever knew about myself could possibly be a lie but Terra and Peeta might not even have a life after this month is up. How selfish of me, I can't believe I was only thinking about myself. I was depressed earlier because once again the life of a Mellark is in my hands but how must he be feeling? He's the one that might be going to his death, not me. Yeh I'm the one that's going to have to live with the fact that I lost another Mellark but he's never going to see his family again, never going to go to his brothers grave, never going to get married or have kids. Atleast I have that choice.

They are all still looking at me when my face finally curves up into a fake smile. "Yeh, I'm sorry, forget about my problems, everything that happens now is about you." I say, quickly wiping the stray tear my cheek. Terra nods at me and falls into a conversation with Haymitch about shelter. I however, notice the eyes of the male tribute on me. Peeta doesn't seem to want to quit staring at me. He raises his eyebrows in question, probably to do with my earlier answer saying I'm fine. The question is, how can he tell? I nod in reply and give him a small smile but by the look on his face, he knows it's fake. He is actually making me feel quite uncomfortable. Instead of saying anything about it, which I really want to do, I pull myself up to me feet and walk straight out the room and to my bedroom, picking up the book and sitting by the window right at the back of the train.

Leafing through the book quickly, I find the Mellarks and my eyes rest on Leaven. Just the look of his name makes all the guilt, all the pain, all those nights I cried myself to sleep come straight back to the surface and I can't hold it in, the tears pour from my eyes with no intention of stopping.

I can't believe I even made it this far. I wasn't even supposed to survive that arena. Leaven should have been in my place right now but fate decided to go against us both. Haymitch had promised to help Leaven and he did but it clearly didn't help at all. I still lost him. Now I'm gonna lose his brother because I'm a failure of a mentor, I've already got that so far. I'm worse than Haymitch. I can't even keep it together for breakfast. How am I going to get through this damn month.

The book seems to fall from my hands, the page still open as it settles on the sofa next to me. I bring my knees up to my face and bury myself into them, wishing that I could just fall off the back of the train and die. It would be so much better if I was where I was meant to be all along.

That's when I hear the quiet 'woosh' sound that the door makes when it slides open and I find myself burying my face further into my knees, expecting Haymitch. "I don't care what you're going to say to me just leave me alone!" I shout in the direction of the door and when I don't get an answer, that's when I know how wrong I was at who walked in. Haymitch would say something back.

I look up to see Peeta sitting next to me on the sofa, looking down at the book that lies open. I follow his eyes to find him looking straight at Leavens name. His face looks sad as you would expect but for some reason it makes me want to cry even more. "I'm sorry." I mumble to him. "About him."

Peeta is now looking at me and my tears are still falling from my eyes when he finally replies. "It's okay. He died a hero and I know I'll see him again sometime."

"Hopefully not too soon." I say a little too quickly.

"Yeh I suppose." His eyes fall away from mine and he closes the book on the chair. "So what was wrong with you back there? I was sent to check up on you." His eyes are still downcast but atleast he is finally talking to me.

I laugh at him a little bit knowing exactly who sent him in here to check on me. "Haymitch?" I ask with one eyes brow raise and he nods, a smile lighting up his face as he looks back up at me. "Well you can report back to Haymitch that everything is just getting on top of me but I'm sure I'll be fine."

He looks really sympathetic now. I know he doesn't really know me but as I've learnt, all the Mellarks are like that. It comes with the family. "Well is there by any chance, anything that I can help you with?" He asks.

I don't know why I say it and I will forever kick myself for saying it but it just comes out without my brain even processing it first. "No you're actually part of the problem." I end up laughing but by the look on his face, he looks hurt. That's when I decide to tell him the truth. I feel like I can trust him some how. "No! I didn't mean it like that. It's just that, you look and sound so much like Lev that I feel like it's last year all over again. I felt like I had another shot at saving his life and then I realised that I didn't and it hurt. Then I knew that I had a shot at saving yours but I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I'm a new mentor, I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want your family to lose anyone else but I can't lose Terra either and I don't know what to do." Obviously I don't tell him the whole truth because I can't trust anyone with the secrets about my family just yet. Except Haymitch but that's only because he doesn't actually know anyone else but me to tell.

Peeta looks like he is thinking up an answer but his face drops when he is about to say something. "Well I'll just report back to Haymitch that you're thinking things over, yeh?" I nod to him and he pulls himself up, leaving the room as quickly as he entered. I find myself looking back down at the book but I don't touch it. I can't do that to myself anymore, not until I at least know the truth.

When we finally arrive in the Capitol, I've been sitting in this chair for an hour and a half. When the train stops, I stand up as to meet the others. I think I stopped crying completely once Peeta left. My mind had gone to Willow. How beautiful she is. At Least I have someone to take my mind of things for a while.

The muscles in the top of my back spasm when I stand up, causing my arms to go numb. You see when I was in the arena, someone literally stabbed me in the back. It wasn't lethal and Lev did a pretty good job of patching it up but because of where the stabbed me, it's hit a nerve that controls my arms, which means at random times, I lose the feeling in my arms completely and when I'm trying to hunt it hurts. In the Capitol they fixed the scars but they couldn't quite get all the damage. Prim has to give me back rubs at least once a month. It's horrible. Ember did it at one point and I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up, I couldn't even move my neck because of how I fell asleep.

I do my best to grab the book and cradle it to my chest and walk out to meet the others. Effie already had them in formation and as soon as she sees me, she ushers me next to Haymitch. I drop my book into his pocket, trying to ignore the shooting pains along my shoulders. "What's up sweetheart?" He asks, noticing my discomfort.

"Pain in my shoulders. My hands are almost completely numb." I say to him. He nods in understanding and watches as I try to crack the top of my back but every move I make hurts so much that I have to stop.

Just as the door opens, I lose my footing and start tumbling forward and because I have no feeling in my arms, I can't use them to stop me so I just close my eyes and get ready. Nothing happens though, I'm stranded in mid air. My eyes open into slits and I didn't even make it past the door. Someone's hands are on my waist and my back now hurts like hell. I turn to see Peeta standing there with a smile on his face. For a moment I think he's the one that saved me but then I see Haymitch, pulling me back up. "Thanks." I say when I'm back on my feet and facing him.

"You owe me one." He says, getting back into formation. Luckily the cameras are waiting round the corner so nobody caught that which I'm glad about. It would have been a disaster if all of Panem so me fall off the train.

"I think thats about 3 now?" I say as a joke. He laughs at me.

He starts straightening his jacket and I start straightening my hair out again. "Not that I would want you saving my life, as it appears you arent that good at it." He says to me and I know that he is talking about Lev but I also know that he is joking so I try to hold in my anger and joke back.

"Hey, shut up old man. I think with that snide comment, we should go back to 2." I say with a laugh.

"Well, thats up to you, see I dont need saving, I'm alot more careful than you." He winks at me and I cant help but laugh more.

"Whatever. Just get off the train." I say, pushing him forward, he almost slips over the little raise at the door.

"Hey, you're meant to be saving me, not killing me." He mumbles, gaining his footing on the ground as I step off the train.

"Who's careful now?" I ask and he grumbles at me as we start walking with Terra and Peeta close behind us. "Get ready you two. This may be a little hard and very new." I turn in time to see them nod and we all brace ourselves as we step out and the flashing begins.

Its a short drive to the tributes centre and I only have time to look at Peeta and Terra quickly and smile before they are wisked away by their prep teams. That just leaves me and Haymitch. Me and Him have to go down to meet the other Mentors. Well I have to meet them, he just has to re-unite I suppose. He starts to lead me on, down in the elevator, further than I have ever been. I'm sure we are underground but when I get there, I see light streaming in from the windows at the back. It seems that we are the last ones here when I notice how full the room is. Haymitch automatically dissapears off to talk to a man I recognise as Chaff from 11. He gives me a nod and I smile back. I shouldnt be scared of this lot, they might be able to help me.

I find myself at the drinks table, picking up a cider when someone reaches out and grabs it first, I turn to see Finnick Odair handing me my drink. "Katniss Everdeen, I'm glad to finally meet you." He says to me.

"Finnick Odair, I guess I should be the one to be glad." I take my drink from him and pop the lid. "Maybe you can introduce me to a couple people, with all your knowledge." He laughs at me and I take a seat on the stool by the bar. Its just like the one on the train, no barman or anything.

He takes a seat next to me. "Easy there Girl on Fire, There's time for that yet." He says in a sedcutive voice which earns him a scowl from me. "Haymitch told me you where stubborn but I promise, I'm not hitting on you or anything.I actually already have a girlfriend. She's not here sadly."

"Dont you mean a hundred girlfriends?" I ask, taking a big gulp of my drink.

His laugh fills my ears. "It is true I do have many female callers. You might want to take it easy on that drink. Dont want to turn up at the Tributes parade drunk do you?" Thats when I laugh. I have a feeling that if I was in the arena with him, I wouldnt trust him at all but he seems like he's be pretty good company. "So, how are you?" He asks.

"I'm brilliant, yourself?" I say a little sarcastically.

"Oh I'm grand." He isnt being sarcastic. "I'm sorry about Peeta. Anyone paying attention could tell you felt something for him." His smile has faded and he's now looking at me with sympathy. I've never seen Finnick Odair's face twist that way, its kind of creepy.

"Well he reminds me of his brother." I say and he nods.

"I like your hair by the way. Looks better than it used to. I bet you gave your prep team a heart attack." He says and I laugh, recalling the looks on their faces when they saw what I did to my hair.

"Yeh, I did." I finally look at him properly and he doesnt look like himself. I'm used to seeing him with perocative clothing on but he is wearing what can only be described at normal clothes. His hair is slicked back and he has a little bit of make-up on but other than that he just looks like a normal person.

He grabs a bottle of something from the bar and looks at me again. "I heard about your mother by the way and I'm really sorry." He says, his face sympathetic again.

"How did you hear about that?" I ask him. Not everyone in 12 knows about it, I don't see how someone from 4 knows about it.

"Well you see Miss Everdeen, something you need to know about me is that I know everything." Now suddenly I feel very uncomfortable. "I have not spilled any secret though." He smiles and walks away, leaving me by myself once again. Then a thought crosses my mind. Finnick said that he knows everything, How could someone like him know that my mother died? He must be telling the truth which means that maybe, just maybe he knows who this Priscilla person is from the book. I quickly turn around to grab his attention but he's gone so I focus on my drink once again.

After a while I decide to grab my drink and find Haymitch. Atleast there is one person in this room that I know and trust. It's not hard as he is still in the same place that I left him except now he's standing with 3 people. One I recognise as Johanna Mason. The other one I don't know. "Ah here she is. We where just talking about you." Haymitch says. I nod in greeting to everyone. "This is Chaff, Johanna and Blight." He says introducing them all.

"It's good to meet you Katniss." Blight says to me and extends his hand, I take it, and shake easily before he recoils and takes a sip out of his drink.

I turn to Johanna with a smile on my face and extend my hand to her. She takes it. "The famous Girl On Fire. Johanna Mason. Nice to meet you." She's almost as bad as Finnick, sarcastic and witty.

"Nice to meet you too." I say with the same kind of fire in my voice. I turn to Chaff and I'm about to give him my hand when he reaches forward and kisses me hard on the mouth. I almost drop to the floor.

Haymitch starts laughing. "Take it easy, it's only her first year." He says. I need to get out of here. I down the remainder of my drink and slip away saying that I need a new one quickly before Haymitch asks for one. "Look? Now you've scared her away." He says to Chaff just as I get out of earshot.

I slump down next to the bar again and grab another drink. Atleast I'm alone here. I don't think I can handle another second of any of these mentors, they're all crazy. I guess that's one of the perks of winning The Hunger Games, it changes you. I however just ended up depressed like Haymitch did. Not mad.

By the time the party finishes, I've talked to almost all of the crazy victors. I didnt start the conversation, they all seemed interested in talking to me which got a little tedious after a while. My brain has gone all fuzzy from the drinks and I'm pretty much seeing 2 of everything, I'm not sure how Haymitch can do this all the time. I know about a week after I found out my mother died, I got so drunk that I ended up passed out on the floor of Haymitch's kitchen and I didnt even remember going over there. "Sweetheart, we have to get going to the parade." Haymitch says, appearing behind me. I turn and smile to him and when I stand up, I pretty much fall into him. "How much have you been drinking?"

"A lot." I mumble and notice a couple of the other Victors looking our way. I didnt even realise that they where all still here. I guess we are all going together.

He grabs me by the arm and starts pulling me towards the door. "Come on, we will get you some water and get to the parade then you can get to bed."

On the way to the parade room, I'm pretty sure I fall asleep on Haymitch's shoulder a couple of times and I dont know what they put in this water but it sobers me up quicker than any water in district 12 ever would. Its good, I have to be sober for this, I cant let Peeta and Terra know that I got drunk. That will make them trust me even less than they probably already do. Too late, before I know it, I'm standing infront of Peeta, hanging off Haymitch's arm. Terra is stroking the horses not far awa. "Hey." I mumble as normally as I can. I have sobered up quite a lot because of the water but I probably still look a mess. I notice the costume that he is wearing, its just a black leotard, simliar to last year but not as extravagant. I think about what Cinna coule possibly have planned this year. Both of their hair is slicked back and normal. Terra is covered in make-up, her eyes as black as the dress and Peeta has black lipstick around his lips. Maybe he is just playing up the coal angle.

"Hey. Any pointers before we go up?" He asks us both.

Haymitch answers first, "Dont fall off." Then he bursts into laughter and Peeta scowls before looking at me, his eyes shining slightly when they meet mine.

"Whatever you do, dont show them up. Wave to the crowd, make sure they remember you. You need sponsers in there, they could mean the difference between life and death." I say to him, giving probably the best advice I have ever given in my life.

He smiles at me and nods. "I'll try and do my best. I'll see you after its all finished." He says and Haymitch starts pulling me away, still laughing. I give Cinna a quick hug and follow Haymitch to the stairs up onto the stand below the Game-Makers where all the Victors are sitting. I find the chair with my name on it, next to Haymitch and on my other side it Chaff. Infront of me in Effie and behind me are 2 places for Cinna and Portia to sit. I feel safe with my team around me but Chaff makes me feel a little on edge because of that kiss earlier but as the trumpets play, I drop it and pay attention just as the first chariot rolls out, holding district 1.

The time goes on and on and I get more and more tired. Atleast im completely sober when the District 12 chariot rolls out. My heart stops when I see them. The black leotards that they where wearing are no longer black, but a display of colours. Red, Yellow and Orange are reflecting off both of them and through the crowd. Their hair, somehow transformed to a firey red and they eyes shining brighter than anything. I dont know how he did it but Cinna has made an even bigger impression from last time, I glance back and give him a smile which he easily returns. Peeta and Terra have taken my advice and are smiling and waving. They look amazing, Terra's make-up makes her look fierce and frightening. I would be scared of her if she was up against me. Peeta's lips make him look the same and I cant keep my eyes off either of them.

When they get to the circle, their costumes stop reflecting and they are just 2 people standing there in black, thats when I notice that they where and still are holding hands, which makes me smile even more, that must have helped a lot. Sponsers will tripping over eachother to get them something in the arena. The President does his welcome and when he is finished I all but jump up when Haymitch says we have to go and meet them.

Back in the main room, their chariot is just rolling in and the doors clamp shut behind them, Terra bounces off the chariot. "That was amazing! Thank you so much Cinna!" She squeels and grabs him by the shoulders, hugging him. I however, find my way over to Peeta who is just stepping off the chariot.

"You okay?" I ask him.

He nods. "Its just, when I was going out on that chariot I realised just how much it meant and in the city circle, looking around at everyone, the first time I saw them all I knew that I would probably be the one to make sure that some of them never saw their families again. Never even got to live another month and it kind of hit home because thats not me, I'm nothing like that but if it comes down to it, I might not have a choice." His face drops and I find myself nodding, the smile falling from my face too.

"I understand. Shall we go upstairs and get out of here?" I ask him

"I'd like that." He smiles at me again and I let Haymitch know that we will meet him upstairs. Being Haymitch, he winks at me and Peeta but I just scowl at him and walk to the elevator with Haymitch. I know that he will stay down there to talk to some of the Victors so I just leave him to it and get Peeta away from it all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Here it is guys, the next chapter! I hope you like it!**

* * *

 **6.**

The next morning I wake with only one thought on my mind, Peeta Mellark. With everything else that is going on in my life right now, at the top of my list is get Peeta home safely. I know its harsh on Terra but I cant let Lev down. I know that he would want them both to come home but even though he would have never said it, he cares more about Peeta and would want him home. The only problem is that I have no idea how the hell to get him home. Its going to be hard for him in there, especially with Terra by his side, someone who probably means a lot to him, it would surprise me if he is already planning his own death to keep her alive. Somehow I need to talk him out of whatever he is thinking and get him to go home to his family.

I didnt get chance to talk to him last night because once I got him up in the elevator and showed him to his room, he dissapeared. He didnt even come to dinner, which annoyed Effie the most. I was just worried. Hopefully I get a chance to talk to him before training starts today. I'm gonna have to talk to him about training anyway, he cant stay away from us all forever.

Today is also the first day that I get trained. Effie and Haymitch will be taking me down to the Mentors room to show me how to use the equipment. For the rest of the Mentors, its just a 3 day party but for me its just like last year, I'll be training. I'm not exactly looking forward to it but I have to know this stuff if it means bringing Peeta home. Haymitch says that the tributes will also be up on the big screen so that we can see them training whilst we are there. I'm glad about that. Atleast I can keep an eye on them.

"Katniss, Up!" I hear Haymitch shout from the other side of my bedroom door. "Everyones waiting for you." Then I hear his footsteps as he walks away. Thats when I pull my legs out from under the covers.

The floor is cold when I touch it and I all but run to the bathroom to lean myself up. I forget about any plans to have a shower and just wash my face, shove on some clothes, brush my teeth and leave the room, leaving my bed un-made which stranegly enough isnt something I would do. Since Willow was born, I got used to cleaning a lot so my bed was made every single morning and so was her crib. It actually kind of relaxes me but I doubt that anything would relax me at this time of year.

In the dining room, everyone has already started breakfast so I just sit down and grab a couple bits of food from the plates, noticing just how green looking Terra and Peeta are. Obviously they arent very good at taking this rich food, I wasnt at first. Lev used to laugh at me for it. The picture of him laughing at me causing a small giggle to fall from my mouth then the room falls silent as I cut up a slice of bacon. "Whats so funny sweetheart?" Haymitch asks from the other side of the room. Thats when I look up and notice them all staring at me.

"Sorry, I was... Never mind." I say, not wanting to bring Lev up. I might have laughed about a memory but I fear that it will only make Peeta more depressed than he already is so I decide to keep my mouth shut.

"Right, well, in 2 hours you guys will be going down to the training room. First things first, do either of you have any abilities that I should know about before you go down?" Haymitch asks and I look up at Peeta and Terra to see what they say. They both just kind of look at eachother and shake their heads. Now I know thats not true. "Come on there must be something?"

"Peeta's strong." I blurt out before I can even stop myself or use my brain in any way. Everyones eyes are now on me and Peeta is giving me the most evil eye anyone could give. "He can throw a hundred pound sack of flour right over his head I've seen it. Lev told me that he was stronger than him and Rye."

"Well I'm not gonna kill anyone with a sack of flour." Peeta says in defence, his voice raising.

"No, but you might have a better chance of winning if someone comes at you with a knife-" I'm about to carry on but he stops me.

"I have no chance of winning!" He shouts, sending shivers through my spine. Before now I had never heard him shout, hardly ever even heard him speak. "None! Alright." Hie fist hits the table hard, sending ripples through the metal. Thats when something in his face changes and he calms slightly. "Its true, Everybody knows it." He turns back to his food again as we all fall into silence.

Terra is the first one to speak up. "Dont do that to yourself Peeta. You're amazing. You could definitely win this thing. Remember when we where kids and you used to run around weilding a stick from your garden saying that you wanted to be the next victor of 12?" Peeta smiles slightly and suddenly my head pounds badly. Just like it did on the day Eric was released when i remembered more about him.

 _"Katniss! Katniss! Guess what?" Peeta shouts running up to me. "I've decided what I want to be when I grow up!" He's dragging a wooden stick behind him, making a line in the coal dust that has settled on the ground._

 _"We're only 12 Peeta, you cant know what you want to be." I say to him, scowling slightly._

 _"I do! I want to be the next Victor of District 12." The stick behind him, swings out and almost hits me in the face but I move away quick enough and a smile appears on his face as he spins around, pretending to penetrate people with the pretend sword. "You could do it too Katniss! With your shooting skills, we could be neighbours and we would never have to worry about money again." He grabs my arms and pulls me in for a hug._

 _"We cant Peeta, nobody from 12 ever wins the games." I say to him, pushing away from his body, a smile is still on his face though._

 _He laughs at me and his eyes meet mine with such intensity that I feel the need to look away but cant. "I want Strength, Wisdom, I want to win the games, I want to be feared."_

"Katniss? You okay?" Effie says, pulling me out of whatever trance I was in. I lift my head from my hands and find all their eyes on me again. The first person I look to is Peeta.

He's looking at me with the same intensity as he was in my little vision thing. His eyes are exacly the same. "You want strenght, wisdom, you want to win the games, you want to be feared." I mumble and his face completely changes, a look that shows he knows what I'm talking about. The only question is 'how?'.

"H-How do you know that?" He asks, his fork hitting the table hard as he drops it. "You cant possibly know that."

"I'm sorry, I've got to go." I mumble and quickly dissapear.

If Peeta hadnt said what he said, I would have just thought that it was some kind of dream. Now its more suspiscious. How did Peeta know about that? How did I know about that? I wasnt friends with him when we where 12, I never even knew him before I met Lev. I must have got it from somewhere though. Maybe someone told me that when we where younger. Or maybe I did actually know him but I cant remember. No, it cant be that. I'd remember something of Peeta if it was. What other explanation is there though?

I feel like I'm going crazy recently. I found out that I have a different mum than I thought and now I'm getting images of things that could or couldnt have happened and there is no way of telling if they did happen or not. It cant of happened. Someone would have told me if I knew Peeta before. Wouldnt they?

2 hours later, I'm saying goodbye as the elevator door closes. Effie is escorting Peeta and Terra to the training room which only leaves me ans Haymitch and even without looking at him, I can tell what he is about to ask me. "You wanna tell me what happened at breakfast?" He asks, now facing me.

"I dont know what you mean." I say, still facing the elevator door. I know he can tell I'm lying, I'm not very good at it after all. I cant even fool Haymitch of all people.

I hear him laugh. "Dont lie Katniss, you looked as if you where having a stroke or something, even I was scared." He says and I finally turn towards him.

"Fine. You know when you feel like you've seen something before but you arent sure?" He nods. "Well when Terra mentioned that Peeta used to talk about winning the games when he was younger, I got this feeling in my head, like pins where stabbing it and then 12 year old Peeta appeared telling me that he wanted to win the games and he said to me ' _I want Strength, Wisdom, I want to win the games, I want to be feared'._ It didnt make sense at first but after thinking about it, with all the blanks in my past, could it possible that I was friends with Peeta Mellark for even a brief time? I always felt connected to him somehow but I still cant figure out why and if I was friends with him why cant I remember him at all?"

Haymitch thinks it over for what seems like forever. "I dont know sweetheart, you might be best off asking him about it. Maybe you wherent friends, maybe your brain just made it up off something you once heard and you created an image in your head of him telling you."

"That was my first thought but it doesnt sound like something that would happen to me and a similar thing happened a while back when I left the bakery and came face to face with Eric. I had the same feeling in my head and got a few more picture of what he did to me that I could never actually get before. When I told Rye about it, he went weird, just like Peeta did, so I dont think its something to do with me." I say to him.

"Why dont we talk about this later and get downstairs?" He asks and I nod, following him into the elevator that I didnt even know opened, revealing Effie.

For the next 3 days, we do the same routine. Training, same time every single day. I havent had another episode like at the breakfast table and everything has been fine since. I havent talked to Peeta about it because I have no idea what to say to him because there isnt really anything you can say to someone you think was in your past. He'd probaby think I was insane if I talked to him about it and right now he doesnt need to know that his Mentor's head is messed up. He needs to know that he can count on me when he is in the games.

I've now learnt to use every piece of equipment in the Mentors room even though it isnt really that hard. Today I just spend talking to the Victors which seemed to be a lot easier that last time. I spent a good 3 hours watching our tributes train and it seems that Terra has become pretty good with a bow and arrow which will be really helpful because I can use that. Peeta has been able to use the paints to camouflage himself so well that when he stands next to one of the trees in the fire section, he dissapears completely.

Today is there individual assessments and I'm hoping that it goes very well. Last night, Terra told us that she was handy with a knife which was very helpful. Apparently she spent all her life, helping her dad cut up the book covers and using the knife to cut intricate designs into them. It seems Terra and Peeta are more useful than we thought. Peeta can throw a spear pretty well even though he still needs to work on his aim but I think that once he is in the games he will be able to get it right. Hopefully.

Me and Haymitch have just got back to the penthouse, waiting for Terra and Peeta. Effie left to go and meet Cinna and Portia down the street which we arent allowed to do because we arent allowed to leave this building so we left it up to her. They are creating the interview dressed today and finishing them tomorrow so they are staying over in one of the penthouse rooms for the night which means I'll be able to have breakfast with Cinna. The only person here that I can actually talk to properly. Sure I can tell Haymitch everything but its definitely not the same. Cinna understands most of it.

"You nervous?" Haymitch asks me, motioning towards my hands which I'm ringing together furiously, staring at the elevator door waiting for it to open. I nod to him. "Me too. I'm sure they will be fine though." He gives me a quick pat on the elbow and I smile at him, just as the elavator door opens and Peeta appears. "How'd it go?"

"Alright, I guess. They wherent really paying attention to me." He says, walking past us. "I'm gonna go and clean up." Then he's gone. I give Haymitch a look and he just shrugs his shoulders.

When Terra appears, we are all sitting at the dining table waiting for her. The scowl on her face shows that hers didnt go very well. She drops down into her seat at the table, almost knocking Peeta out of his. "You alright?" He asks her, regaining his place at the table.

"That was the most embarrassing thing I have ever done in my life." She hisses and starts pulling different meat of different places, the rest of us are frozen still though, no idea what to say. "I mean what is the point in rating us individually if you're going to be drunk whent the last tribute shows up. Now I'm gonna be the laughing stock of the games because of the stupid game-makers and their stupid drinks. The only thing they actually payed attention to was when I did it wrong."

"What did you do?" Haymitch gets out, finally asking what is on all of our minds.

"I shot some stupid arrows and threw some knifes but they didnt see my slice of one of the dummies heads, no, they saw me miss a dummy with an arrow and shoot a sack of saw dust in the damn corner. So I just left. Didnt say anything." She says.

"Cant be as bad as sweethearts here." Haymitch says. He laughs and everyone looks at me.

"Why? What did you do?" Peeta asks as he and Terra stare at me, waiting for an answer.

I let out a sigh. "They wherent paying attention to me so I shot an arrow at them. At the Game-makers. It scewered the apple in the pigs mouth and then I dismissed myself leaving them like that." Both of their faces drop. I remember Lev laughing at me but apparently his brother is very different.

"Well that makes me feel a little better but atleast you got an 11. I'm probably gonna end up with a 4 or something." Terra mumbles.

"No, I'm sure atleast one of them saw what you did." Peeta replies.

"Yeh right. Stupid bloody Game-Makers, already signing my death warrant." Then everyone falls into silence again and eventually we begin to eat.

After dinner, we are all sitting infront of the television, waiting for the results. I can pretty much cut the tension in the room with a knife. I'm sandwiched between Haymitch and Peeta, both of them are bouncing their knees around and leaning as forward as they can. I can see Terra in the gap between Peeta's back and the sofa back, biting her nails. When Peeta leans back, I lose sight of her and am looking at Peeta as he looks back at me. He smiles slightly then looks away.

It feels like forever before Caesar Flickerman's face appears on the screen. "Now as you all know, the tributes are rated on a scale from 1 to 12. Lets get on with the show shall we?" He gives us one of his signature smiles and then the first face shows up. "Marvel, District 1 with a score of... 9." And so it goes on. The female from 1 gets a 10 and so does the big monstrous looking boy from 2. The girl from 2, in her small frame isnt as lucky, she scores a 7. Thats when Caesar makes a remark about me. "Well Claudius, nothing like our winner last year, the Girl On Fire with her legendary 11. I cant wait to see what her tributes have pulled out the bag this year..." He carries on through 3 and then 4, both of them getting a 6, I bet Finnick Odair is scolding them right now for showing him up.

5 through 9 get really low scored just like they do every year. The boy from 10, the one with the broken leg, gets a 5, the girl gets an 7 and then its onto little Rue, who reminds me so much of Prim. She scores an 8, which confuses me, what could that little girl have shown them to get such a score? I look towards Peeta for an answer, I'm guessing he probably noticed her. "She was amazing. She could climb anything and you hardly even saw her until she was at the top." I nod in understanding and look back at the screen just as a 10 flashes after Thresh's face.

"Peeta Mellark, District 12." Caesar says and Peeta leans forward on his knees again. The room falls even more silent than before if even possible and even Haymitch stops to listen, could it be true that he actually feels like he has a chance this year? "With a score of... 8" Everyone applauds and I hear Peeta sigh in relief. "And last but certainly not least is Terra Kade, District 12, with... what the Game-Makers have specifically wrote down as a High 10." The room erupts in applause just like it did last year. I can barely hear Caesar mention that she is following in my footsteps.

Congratulations are given around and Effie, Haymitch, Cinna and Portia all grab a glass of champagne to raise to them but I'm not allowed one, still being a kid. Luckily Cinna sneaks me a little whilst Effie has her back turned. I have to admit though, its quite horrible. When everyone calms down again, Caesar is still on the screen, talking about some kind of surprise. "... this stage tomorrow night folks, dont miss it. The Girl on Fire." Then he bids goodnight and the tv goes off.

"Oh crap, I forgot to tell you!" Haymitch mumbles, being scolded by Effie for 'language' at the same time. "He wants an interview with you. They do it every year, an interview with the last victor. Just to talk about what you have been up to since the games."

"When where you gonna tell me about this? Tomorrow when I'm already meant to be on stage?" I ask, a little harshly.

"I'm sorry Sweetheart but I just forgot. What with all the training going on, I needed to remember everything on how you are to keep these kids alive." He motions towards them both. Its getting kind of annoying listening to him refer to them as kids. As they are both older than me.

"I know this isnt the point right now but could you please stop referring to them as kids? They are both older than me. If they are going to their deaths I think they deserve something more than kids." I get funny looks from both of the tributes and I just ignore them and look at Haymitch. "Anyway, about this interview, How long do I have to talk to him for?" I ask Haymitch, trying to get rid of the anger bubbling through me.

"As long as he wants you. Look, Katniss, He is going to want to talk about the boy and you have to be ready for that and you have to be able to do it without crying, can you do that?" He says and I can already feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I try to hide them but I cant so I pull myself up off the sofa as steady as I can, still almost knocking Cinna's drink out of his hands though.

I face Haymitch quickly before I leave the room. "He wasnt 'the boy' Haymitch. He was Called Leaven, please get it right. And no I will never be able to talk about him." Then I leave and go to my bedroom. Only for a second though to grab a jacket before trapsing up to the roof, wrapping my jacket around me as I go. I hear someone shout me from down the hall but I ignore them and carry on.

The next day, I'm woken up by Peeta, instead of Haymitch. He isnt at the door though, he's standing at the foot of my bed. "Effie says breakfast is ready." He says and leaves as quick as he can. I pull my head up off the book that its stuck to. I fell asleep last night, reading the citizen book. Avoiding 2 pages. The one with Me on and the one with Lev on because I couldnt bear to face all my demons right now. I have to get my head straight and get Peeta home, then I can worry about everything else. Last night, I must have spent 5 to 6 hours on the roof thinking over my priorities. I didnt go to bed until 3 in the morning and at that part I was 100% sure that Peeta was my top priority.

I decide to leave everything behind in bed and get to breakfast. I know that my problems will never actually go away until I figure out the truth but by then, hopefully I will be going home with Peeta at my side. I find everyone sitting at the dining table laughing about something which seems really odd at this moment in time but watching them all laugh gives me a slight sense of home and that reason is why my feet plant in the doorway and I stop moving. "Hey Sweetheart. Got a busy today, you well rested?" My eyebrow raises at how nice Haymitch is being. Something must be going on.

"I'm good." I mumble and take my seat at the table. Some people are still laughing as I load up my plate with food. "Interview training today?" I ask and Haymitch nods.

"Yeh. Guys listen up." He says to the table and it goes quiet. "Today will be your training for your interviews tomorrow. You will have to spend 4 hours with Effie and 4 hours with me or Katniss. Normally it would just be me, but with our new Victor, Katniss will be taking one of you and I will be taking the other. Unlike the rest of the time, we will be coaching you seperately today, only because its easier to get a read on you when you are alone and it will be easier on Effie if she takes one of you at once. Peeta you will be with Effie this morning and then at dinner you will swap to Katniss, until then Katniss you will be downstairs helping Cinna with tomorrow's costumes." I nod, glancing quickly at Peeta. He nods at me and turns back to Haymitch as quick as he can. "Terra, you will be with me this morning then Effie after dinner. Another thing, Katniss... After you have had your session with Peeta, Cinna will be up here to take you down to get ready for your interview which starts at 8. You wont be back until about 11 and you will need your rest for tomorrow, when we go down to the Mentor room to set everything up and enter all their details. Any questions." He looks around the room.

Everything is silent for a minute until Terra speaks up. "What will we be doing with you and Effie?"

"With me or Katniss it will be your interview techniques and with Effie it will be..." He looks at Effie to answer and she quickly finishes the sip of her drink that she is having before looking at them both.

"I will be teaching you the correct way to walk and how to sit properly whilst you are being interviewed." She says with a small smile.

After that the day is a big blur. That is up until I am talking to Peeta. Haymitch has now gone downstairs to talk to some of the other mentors about something and Effie has just dragged a very scared looking Terra down the hallway to her bedroom. I hear Peeta chuckle behind me. "Someones gonna be coming back with a black eye or something. My guess is Effie." He says, causing me to laugh a little bit more.

"No, you dont know Effie, it wouldnt surprise me at all if Terra is the one coming back with a black eye or a heal in the head or something like that. Last year I swear I thought she was gonna kill me. Haymitch was worse though, think yourself lucky that you have me instead of him." He is looking at me now as I lead him into the sitting room to begin.

He shuts the door behind him and takes a seat across from me. "You know, it feels kind of strange getting interview advice from someone younger that me." He smiles at me and I cant help but smile back.

"I might be younger but I'm a lot more experienced in interviews. Now, first we have to find your angle which shouldnt be too hard. You're approachable, you're kind and polite and I doubt that Caesar will hate you. If you carry on the way that you are going, I'm sure that he will love you which will be helpful because if you get stuck then you can just look to him and he will help you, I promise." I say to him and he nods, leaning forward on his knees. my eyew flicker down to his hands and my own hands begin to shake. Something about them hands, the hands of a baker, are so familiar.

He must notice me staring because he pulls his hands into himself and starts seaking. "So... If I already have an angle, what is this about?" He asks. I think about it for a second and come up with my answer because what is the point really? He doesnt need this, he needs a happy couple of hours.

"You know what? I think you'll be fine in the interviews. Lets do something else. Has anyone shown you the roof yet?" I ask and he shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "Well considering Lev used to love it so much, I think its about time you saw it." I pull myself up and he does the same, following me down the hallway. Past my bedroom and past his bedroom, through the door at the end and up the stairs, out into the cold air of the roof.

His feet take him straight to the edge where he looks out over the Capitol. The look on his face was exactly the same as I saw on Lev's last year. I follow him and lean over to get a better look. The Capitol citizens are going about their usual business. Every single one of them probably bustling with excitement about tomorrow's interviews. Most of them will be coming. The ones I can see anyway. In the outskirts of the Capitol, they wont have the honour of attending the interviews but they will still be able to watch them.

I glance at Peeta again, something I cant seem to stop doing. He looks mesmerised by the sight of such odd people, having some-what normal lives. Its understandeable. A smile appears on my face just as he looks at me but still I cant look away. He smiles back and then turns away again towards the Capitol. "Its amazing. All the colours." He mumbles. I have a feeling that he's talking to himself so I just keep my mouth shut and turn away.

"Do you want to see the garden?" I ask him. I really hope he says yes because I need to show him something.

He nods and follows me without question. I can talk to him freely in the garden so I love it there. The flowers are still exactly the same as last year and so far this year I havent plucked up the courage to go in here. I open the door to the little garden and Peeta shuts it behind him. "There arent any cameras here. They cant see or hear us." I tell him, focusing my eyes on one thing and one thing only, my little shrine for Lev in the corner. Peeta notices it to and is now stood right next to me. "Last year after he died, between my interviews before I came home, I was able to sneak up here and I sat down in this corner for what felt like hours just crying and crying. There was no stopping it and eventually I realised that other than him being buried in 12 he never had a proper send off when he died so I made this. I thought that he needed atleast something." I hear Peeta sigh and I have to quickly qipe away a stray tear falling down my cheek.

"Thank you." He mumbles and the sound of his voice makes me cry more. I wonder if he knows he sounds so much like him. "Its amazing."

"He deserved so much b-better..." I choke out. "And he was the greatest guy I ever met in my life and I couldnt just let him go, I couldnt let it be over. He had so much to live for and it pains me everyday that he died instead of me. He should have lived. I should have died." The tears are falling so much now that I cant even see the little bunch of flowers anymore. "You needed him. Rye needed him. Your parents needed him and his girlfriend needed him. Who the hell needed me. Mum is dead and Prim is so much better off with your family. I cant even take care of my own child properly." The truth spills out.

I feel his hand on my arm. "Its okay Katniss." He says, I can hear the pain in his voice. "He's in a better place now and you are a great parent."

"No, its not okay. Everytime I look at you, I see him and how I failed to protect him. Everytime I see Willow I see the eyes of the psycho bastard who, however much I try to pretend, is her father. I'm just a failure. I'm a stupid, stupid little girl who thought that everything would be okay but its not. Everything is messed up and no amount of 'its okay Katniss' is going to change that." I'm looking at him now and I can see the tears falling from his eyes aswell. "My life is just one big mess and I've caused heartache in your family just for being alive. I should have just died in that arena with Lev." Before I know it, he has his arms around me.

At first I have no idea how to react but after a second or two, I wrap my arms tightly around him, his build is so similar to Embers that its kind of scary but somehow its also very different. Warmer and safer. I shouldnt say that about my boyfriend but right now, what I needed was a Mellark and even though I dont want him to be here in the Capitol with me, I still got what I needed.

For the next couple of hours, we sit in the garden and talk about hapy memories incuded Lev. Its mostly Peeta that talks considering that I didnt know him before the games but I still have a few of my own. I mention to him how annoying it was that Lev started calling me Princess and how he always wanted to know what Willow was like. How his face would light up when I mentioned home. How in the arena he was always there for me and hardly ever left my side.

Peeta goes on and on about memories from their childhood. Every funny part and every sad part. How Lev once beat Rye up because he was picking on Peeta. How He always used to make the best raisin bread and muffins. How he taught Peeta how to ice the cakes because their father was busy. How he taught Peeta to talk to girls. How he was pver-all Peeta's best friend.

When it comes to 5pm, We have to set off back down for dinner. "Right, if anyone asks, your angle is polite and approachable and you are going to crack a few jokes alright?" I ask him and he agrees with a little laugh.

Before I stop through the door to the stairs, he pulls away a little strand of hair from my forehead. "Thank you for this Katniss. It really means a lot." I nod and walk through the door, followed shortly by Peeta.

In the dining room, Terra looks as sour as anything, Effie doesnt look much different and Haymitch is just walking from the elevator with Cinna and Portia. "Where have you two been?" Haymitch asks, raising his eyebrow.

"Well I took Peeta up to the roof. I figured it would be a good place to talk to him." He narrows his eyes at me, obviously knowing that I'm not a good liar. He knows that I'm lying but he lets it go anyway. He clearly trusts me.

By the time my interview comes along, I'm absolutely knackered. Cinna already has me dressed and everything and I'm standing in a little cubicle under the stage ready to be lifted up, just like I was when I won the games last year. "Right, remember, dont mess up and always smile." Effie quickly says to me as Caesars anthem plays out. I just have time to nod before a metal wall seperates us.

I take a couple of breathes and listen to the sound of Caesars voice. I trust him to not make me look stupid but I'm scared of him asking me about Lev. The last thing I want to do this year is cry infront of all the Capitol citizens. It took everything in me last year not to cry at our interview after the games, I'm sure I will be able to stay calm this year. My nervous hands find the green silk of my knee length dress and hold tight. It feels so nice, reminds me of my home back in district 12 and the silk sheets on my bed. I would rather be there. Infact I'd rather be anywhere but here. I can feel my arms sweating under my full length sleeves and I have to wave them around a bit to help the situation.

"... and here she is folks, the one and only Girl On Fire." I hear Caesar say and the platform beneath my feat jolts into action. It feels like I'm going up for ages before I actually see the light, blinding me. I can hardly see Caesar extending his hand to me.

"Good evening Katniss. How are you?" Caesar asks as he guides me to my seat right next to him, just like last year.

I take my seat, tucking my dress underneath. "I'm good Caesar and how are you?" I ask in return. This time last year I probably would have just said one word answers but I've had enough interviews at this point in my life.

"I'm grand. Now, how about them tributes? Did you know them from home?" He asks. Atleast he's starting with the easy questions. "Tell me the story of how you met them."

My mind takes me back to the day that I got back from the games, the first time I met them both. "Well, when I got back from my games, I had to do a live meeting with The Mellarks and that was the first time that I talked to Peeta and a couple days later I met Terra. You see, just before I got back from the games, my mother passed away and The Mellarks took in my little sister so I owe them everything for keeping her fed."

"Well I am very sorry to hear about your mother." He grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze which makes me smile slightly.

I nod in thanks, cause what else is there to do really? "Its been hard but it would have been a lot harder without them and my boyfriend."

"So, how do you think they are going to do in the games?" He asks me.

I think back to watching them train. "I think they are going to be good Caesar, They have a lot of competition this year but I have faith in them. I think I can make District 12 the first District to have 2 Victors in 2 years."

"I think maybe you could. How about you? How are you dealing this year?" He asks me. Last year, I was going through some kind of separation issues with Willow. "How's the daughter?"

"Well, Caesar, she's brilliant. She can speak now and she can almost walk. I fear that I'll miss it whilst I'm here but I'll be able to see it when I get back. I love her more than anything and its hard being away from her but unlike last year, she's a little older so I dont think I'll miss that much." I reply, a smile plastered to my face.

He nods in understanding. "I bet your mum would be very proud of you." I bet she would, I never thought about that. After she died, I didnt mourn much, I didnt know how to. She was never there for me until Willow was born, I felt sad about it but I havet cried yet, I know it will all hit me one day and I'm hoping that I'll be at home alone when that happens. "Now, What about Peeta Mellark, looks a lot like Leaven doesnt he?" I nod, worried about where this is going. "I bet thats hard." His face holds sorrow.

I nod again. "Yeh, he sounds like him too. Back at home, we didnt speak much but here, we've been talking more and with certain words he sounds exactly like him, especially when my back is turned." I have to hold in the tears that threaten to come out.

"Its sounds like its hard. I really do feel for you Katniss." He says.

As the interview goes, I get more and more bored. He keeps talking about the tributes and how much I think they are going to win and my answer is always the same as it was when he asked me the first time. By the time he finally lets me leave the stage, its 11pm. In the elevator, I find myself sitting on the floor, leaning against the glass wall. I just want to go to bed.

When the doors open, I pull myself up, grabbing my heals off the floor where I dumped them and walk forward, everyone is still in the sitting room so when I walk through the door, everyone is watching me. "Go well Sweatheart?" Haymitch asks. "You looked a little off."

"Because im tired. I'm going to bed." I say to them all and drag myself past them and down the hallway to my bedroom, collapsing onto the bed.

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 **Leave me a review If you can, I like to know what you guys think of my writing :D xxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**You all ready to find out who that woman is that Katniss came across at the Reaping? :)**

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Chapter 7

Haymitch wakes me sometime around 7 so that I can go straight downstairs to learn about the equipment. I am honestly now looking forward to today at all. The other victors will be there setting up all their information. Over the past couple of days, me and Haymitch have been working with the Tributes when we have spare time and getting everything we need, like their height and weight. Now that we have everything that we need, I can input it into the machines. As it has been all along, Haymitch will be sorting out Terra's information and Effie will be assisting me with Peeta's considering I'm not sure how I put it all in.

As soon as the games start tomorrow, the screens next to the Tribute info will switch on and we will have constant eyes on our tributes. There is one big screen in the Mentor room which will show us what everyone else in the Capitol and the Districts can see. Which is evidently the most interesting thing that is going on at that time.

At about 5, me and Haymitch will be escorted down to the auditorium where the interviews will take place, for them to start at 6. We have to sit through 22 interviews before we find out if our mentoring yesterday did enough for them to get sponsers and be remembered. Haymitch probably did a good job on Terra I'm just hoping that Peeta is a good enough speaker to get through it quickly enough.

"You ready Haymitch?" I ask walking through the door to the dining room. I cant stop for breakfast because I woke up late enough as it is. Surprisingly enough he isnt alone. Effie is there with a very tired looking Peeta. "You alright?" I ask him.

"Couldnt sleep." He mumbles, his voice breaking slightly. I nod in understanding. "You alright?" He asks.

"I suppose." Haymitch pulls himself out of his seat and I follow him on to the door of the elevator. "I'll see you before your interviews." I see him nod just before the doors close and me and Haymitch shoot down to the mentors room.

Just as I see floor ten go by, Haymitch turns to me, a look on his face that says he wants answers. "What the hell is with you and that boy? Are you in love with him or something?" He asks me and I almost choke on the laugh that falls from my mouth. Me? In love with Peeta? What brought that on?

"Honestly, I have no idea. No, I am definitely not in love with him, I have a boyfriend remember. There's something about him that shows me that I can trust him. I dont know what it is exactly, I just feel like I've known him my whole life and he reminds me so much of Lev that I feel like I've been given another chance to put right what I did wrong in the last games." He looks at me for a minute as I look at him.

When the doors open, he quickly says, "Well lets get him home to his family." Then he is swept away by Chaff and Seeder, leaving me to find Effie and our station.

For the next 7 hours, I learn and I learn about how to keep Peeta safe in the arena. It becomes very hard with the noise of all the old victors bustling around. Effie shows me most of what I need to know and I figure out the rest myself. Finnick Odair shows me a few tricks which I thank him for, he gets me a drink and wonders off to see someone else. I find Haymitch once I've finished at the station and surprisingly enough, he isnt drunk. "So Effie didnt bore you to death then?" He asks with a small laugh taking a sip of what I think is orange juice.

I shake my head, even though he isnt looking at me and therefore cant see. "I wasnt particularly paying attention to be quite honest. I worked it out on my own." A laugh falls from my lips. When he turns towards me quickly, I recall our conversation in the elevator. "Did you really mean what you said earlier about bringing Peeta home?" I ask him.

The chair spins as he looks at me. "I havent known you for long Katniss but I know that it takes you a long time to trust someone so with someone like Mellark, he must mean something really important if you already trust him and like you said, maybe we can get right what we got wrong last time. It wasnt your fault that Leaven died, well not fully your fault. I take most of the blame and therefore I will do right by you and right by the Mellarks to get that boy home safely to them. I promise this time." I cant help but smile at him widely, a tear falls from my eye. "Now, I know that means that we are going to have to lose Miss Kade but its up to you sweetheart. There is no way that we can save both. He has a bigger chance of winning and thats just the way it is." He has me by the shoulders now and I cant bring myself to say anything so I just nod. "Brilliant." His eyes flicker past me and I turn to see Finnick watching us both. "I think you're wanted." I'm about to move away when he grabs me again. "I want you to know that you can trust him Katniss, with anything. If you have something you need to tell anyone or get something off your chest, he's the guy."

"I'll keep that in mind." I say with a laugh and he winks at me quickly. "Hi Finnick." I say, taking a sip out of the drink that I forgot I was holding. "Whats up?" I ask, I know that I only just met him but for some reason, like Haymitch said I feel like I can tell him something. He knows Capitol secrets, maybe he knows who this Priscilla woman is. Its worth a shot at least. I wont tell him anything else just yet, only ask him who she is.

He smiles, his signature smile and I scowl at it, like I have done these past few days. "How is the beautiful Girl On Fire?" He asks.

"Alright. I actually have a question." He nods, waiting for the question. "Do you know anyone called Priscilla?" I get out.

He starts shaking his head a little too quickly, showing that there is something he is hiding from me. "Priscilla what?" He asks.

"I'm not sure, it just said Priscilla S." I mumble, feeling a little bit more comfortable in this conversation knowing that he doesnt actually know anything, or so I thought, When his face drains of all colour, I think different. He almost drops the glass in his hand so he places it down and grabs my wrist, pulling me along towards the door, that quickly that I do actually drop my glass, sending shards of glass flying in ever direction.

On the other side of the double doors, which I have never been through, is a corridor. We walk almost right to the end and through a door that has the word 'gentlemen' on it. He locks the door after us and I find myself standing in a bathroom. He switches all the taps on, drowing out the recorders I'm guessing and pulls towards them. "How do you know that name?" He asks forcefully, turning into a Finnick Odair that I have never seen.

"Tell me who she is first." I say, I'm not telling him anything until he tells me. "What do you know about her?" This time its me being forceful. I have to know about this woman who is supposedly my mother.

He takes a breathe and lets go of my shoulders, "Priscilla Snow. The Presidents Daughter." He says and I can all but here my stomach drop. The presidents Daughter. If this is true then I'm related to the President. It cant possibly be true though, I was born in District 12, I'm nothing special. How could I possibly be related to such a sadistic mad man. I begin to shake my head, not believing it. "Yes Katniss, she commited a crime and was sent away, Everybody said that she died. But by the colour your face has gone, I'm guessing thats not what you wanted to hear?"

I finally find my voice again. "Where did she go?" I ask.

"Nobody knows. Someone mentioned once that she went to the place her heart belongs but it sounds like rubbish to me." He laughs slightly, probably trying to lighten the mood slightly.

A million questions are running through my head about this woman. "What did she do?" I ask, deciding that its a good question to start on.

His eyes narrow slightly for no reason. "She cheated on her husband and had a child with another man."

I start firing off questions at him. "Is there a picture of her anywhere." I know that if I saw her then it would all seem more real because I know what she looks like so I would recognise her face if I saw a picture of her.

His eyes are still focusing on mine as I ask him questions. "Only in Snows Mansion. All other pictures where burnt because of what she did. Snow didnt want any reminder that his daughter and commited a crime. He even killed her husband just after Abigail Snow was born. Nobody knows that, everyone thinks he died in an accident but some of us know the truth."

"What happened to the kid?" I ask him.

"Went with the father, they where banished." He says quickly in reply. I think he has got the point that I am quickly asking questions.

Next question, "How many kids did she have?"

He sighs again, just like before. "You're very persistent." He mumbles. I raise my eyebrow waiting for an answer and he laughs at me. "3, Abigail, the most known one. The unknown child and then the oldest one is Elijah, my best friend. More like a brother really."

"Elijah? He's your best friend?" I ask, things just seem to be getting worse and worse.

His brows dip as he becomes confused. "Yeh, how do you know him?" He asks, just as confused as I am.

I take a breathe and decide to tell him. "This has to stay between us, not even Haymitch can know, promise." He nods quickly. "I think I'm the missing child." I mumble. His face changes but he ends up laughing, putting it aside quickly. When he see's that I'm not smiling and that it isnt a joke, he turns serious.

"Thats really not funny Katniss." He says, his breathing becoming heavy. "You are joking right, please tell me you're joking?"

I shake my head. "I'm serious. The district 12 citizen book says my mothers name is Priscilla S. On the day of the reaping, some woman broke free from the cells and ran up to me saying that I had to find Elijah because he knows everything and that he is my brother. I tried to look in the Capitol Directory but I couldnt find anything on either of them."

He takes a moment before speaking. "Are you serious." He asks and I nod. "Listen to me Katniss, no-one can know about this. I'll keep a secret, you should too. There are many people in the Capitol who still believe that you should have died and your dad along with you. A lot more people wanted to see your father die."

I nod. "I guess they got there wish."

"I'm really sorry but I tell you what, next time you come to District 4, I'll introduce you to Elijah. You can tell him everything."

The thought of meeting him actually makes me smile. "Okay, deal, so whats he like? Tell me about him?"

He smiles back at me, "He's great, you'll like him. He's 24, like me and he has a son. Well adopted son, Noah Platten who is 3 right now. Platten is Elijahs last name in 4 aswell, obviously no-one can know who he actually is so he changed it. He's lived in 4 since he was 14, he moved back with me after my Victory Tour because Snow banished him aswell, he broke into Capitol secret records to find you but he was caught before he found anything."

I'm once again confused. "Why me?" I ask.

"He did his research. He said he remembers the day you where born and wanted to find you so he could get you away from Snow but he couldn't find you and they tortured him to find out what he knew and then he was banished to 4 and he has tried to look for you but then he found Noah abandoned one day about 3 years ago and he has spent every day looking after him but I know he still wants to meet you, I just didn't have any idea it was you or I would have told you to meet him on your victory tour. He doesn't know what you look like either, or your name so he didn't recognise you in the games. All he knew was that your father and you where in 12 and he swore that if he saw you he would recognise you but he thought that you would look like Priscilla he never saw your father so he didn't know what he looked like so when you where in the games, he didn't have a clue who you where." I feel his soft hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me.

I start shaking my head again. "I cant believe this. Next thing I know, I'll find out I'm not even called Katniss." I mumble.

"I'm so sorry Katniss, but I am always here if you need to talk to someone. I'm not the arrogant person you normally see you know. Everyone has a camera face," He says with a smile.

I smile back. "And this is me. Katniss Everdeen, the complete and utter mess. I dont think I've stopped crying since the reaping. The girl who doesnt even know who she is."

He laughs slightly. "I dont think you're a mess. Now lets get back out there and put on our smiles or they are going to think something is going on between us." Thats my turn to laugh. "Remember when we get back in there, you hate me." I quickly wipe away my tears and follow him out the door.

At 5 to 5, 2 peacekeepers lead me and Haymitch into the elevator to the interviews. They leave us at the door so its just me and Haymitch. The rest of the Mentors went ahead of us so they could talk to their tributes and get there seats before everyone else shows up. They started at district 1 which means we went last. "What was that with Finnick earlier, anything I should know about?"

I turn to him and shake my head motioning towards the camera. "Nothing, we where just talking that was it. It was about the interviews." He nods just as the elevator doors open and I find Peeta and Terra in the crowd of tributes, being straighetened out by stylists. "Hey." I mumble to them both. "You nervous?"

Peeta shakes his head. "No, I think it will be fine." I nod and look to Terra who doesnt actually have to say anything as you can physically see her shaking. "She's nervous and-"

He is cut off by a scream coming from behind us, sending razor shapr shivers down my spine and scaring me so much that I almost fall on my face. "Katniss! Haymitch! What are you wearing!" Its Effie. "It is customary for the Mentors to be dressed in posh clothing not this drab." She waves her hand at me and I can feel myself snapping slowly.

The words are about to come out of my mouth when Haymitch stands infront of me and faces her. "Its alright Eff, we just ran late upstairs. We have 20 minutes until show time, I'm sure that we have time to throw something on." He says whilst I stand behind him and take small breaths. I know that Effie is trying to make us look our best but sometimes she gets on every single one of my nerves. "Just go and find your seat, I will sort everything out." She stamps her foot and walks away.

"You alright?" Peeta asks behind me, laughing slightly.

"She's fine. Sweetheart here has an extremely bad temper." He drapes his arm around my shoulders, making me laugh as I move away from him.

"Shut up, just go, we have to get upstairs now thanks to you." I push him towards the elevator and he eventually walks on. "Good luck out there guys." They both smile at me and I follow Haymitch.

Finally me and Haymitch are looking respectful and sitting next to eachother in the front row, waiting for the interviews to start. I can feel myself messing with the bottom of my blouse when Caesar finally comes out onto the stage. The suspense isnt over yet though as I have to sit through 22 other tributes before ours come on, atleast I have to assess the competition. District 1 is up and before they even come on stage I can tell they are going to be very snobby and stuck up just like they always are. Their interviews pass by quickly and then District 2 is up.

I keep a close eye on the boy, Cato. He even scares me. I dont know how I would be able to deal with going into the arena with him. I think Peeta could probably take him down if he tried hard enough but Terra thats a different matter. If she was in the trees with a bow and arrow then probably yes but not in hand to hand combat. She wouldnt stand a chance. She's strong but not strong enough for someone who has been training their whole life to win these games. If I dont find a way to get Peeta out alive there is no doubt in my mind that this monstrous boy from District 2 will win the 74th Hunger Games.

When District 12 finally shows up, I'm getting kind of tired, Haymitch had to nudge me awake at one point actually, somewhere around District 6. Terra walks onto the stage as confidently as she seems to be able to. "Miss Kade. Its nice to finally meet you." Caesar says offering her his hand as she sits down. "How are you?"

"I'm good Caesar, thank you for asking." She takes her seat and forces a smile.

"Good. So, the tribute Parade? I dont how Cinna did it but he over-shone himself from last year." Caesar says and the crowd agree.

"Yeh, I cant believe what I was wearing. It felt like a dream." Terra replies.

"I'm sure it did." They talk some more, about anything and everything. Over all I think she does really well, he asks her how she knows Peeta and about her life back home. She answers thruthfully which gains her points from the crowd.

When she leaves the stage I can feel my heart beating really fast. He introduces Peeta and then he appears. He looks more confident than I have ever seen him. It gives me a little bit of confidence but not much. I'm still scared. "Ahhh, Peeta Mellark." Caesar shakes his hand as he sits down. "Exraordinarily like your brother you look." This comment makes Peeta smile. It makes me smile aswell.

"Everyone says that but I've never been able to see it Personally." Peeta replies. "Dont get me wrong, I am more than proud to look like him."

Caesar nods. "And so you should be. Such a brave young man, who you shouldnt have lost this soon." Then Peeta's face drops.

"Yeh..." He mumbles.

"So, anyway, with a handsome face like yours there must be someone back home?" Caesar asks and Peeta looks up at him laughing and shaking his head. "Come on, a special girl?"

"Honestly Caesar there hasnt been anyone since..." Then he trails off like he said something he shouldnt have said. "Nothing it doesnt matter."

"Since what? Was there someone?" Peeta shakes his head. "Come on, you cant keep it all inside now, Everyone wants to know. You wouldnt want to let them down would you now?"

Peeta laughs slightly and then reluctantly nods. "Okay well there was this girl. I loved her with all my heart and I still do, but she... left and I havent seen her since. She forgot about me and moved on and has her own life now. I dont think she recognised me until the reaping when I was stood up there on the stage."

"Well, maybe if you get to go home, she will come running back." Peeta nods in agreement.

Then they start talking about the training until the bell rings and me and Haymitch go backstage to meet up with him and Terra. He is just getting off the stage when Me, Haymitch and Effie arrive backstage. "You did very well Peeta." I expect Haymitch to have said that but instead its Terra. It seems that girl already knows what she is doing.

After I have showered and everything and Dinner has been eaten in silence, I find my way up to the roof. Only to find Peeta already standing there. "Shouldnt you be in bed?" I ask him and he spins around, caught off guard. "Big Big Big day tomorrow." I smile at my immitation of Effie and he smiles back.

"Hi. How are you?" He asks me, leaning on the bannister over-looking the Capitol. "They're having a party, might as well watching considering its for us." I walk over and see what he's talking about to see Capitol citizens screaming and cheering. On a big screen they are currently playing the Disrict 5 Male's interview.

Peeta is just watching it as if his life depended on it. I cant seem to watch it though, I cant take my eyes off him. The lights of the Capitol make his face shine. He is unrealisticaly beautiful and for some reason I can only seem to think about Leaven and how a week ago I was stood up here with him saying my goodbye. I should be seeing him in the morning so I shouldnt have to say goodbye. Normally Portia would be picking him up but this year, I will be taking Peeta down to his Hovercraft and Haymitch will be taking Terra to hers where they will be meeting up with Cinna or Portia. "How you feeling?" I ask him. Stupid question really.

"Scared." He says and looks at me. "Its just that, I dont want them to change me in there. If I'm gonna die... I wanna still be me? You know?" I feel the tears in my eyes. "I just need to show them that I'm not another piece in their games."

"You're not gonna die, I wont allow it." I say.

"You dont know that. I cant let Terra die, I wouldnt do that to Sarah." He replies and a tear falls from my eye.

"And I cant do that to Leaven! I already feel like I've let him down too much. I told him I would get on with my life but its just got worse and worse since then. This whole thing with my mother and you and I dont know what it is but you're really important to me Peeta and I cant just let you die. I wouldnt be able to live with myself." I say and his face drops as I begin to cry. "I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go." I turn to walk away but he grabs my arm.

"Katniss wait." I turn to look at him but before I even have a chance to see him, his lips are on mine. The strange thing is, I like it and I dont really feel like I'm letting Ember down. I know I've been dating him for 11 months but Peeta is the one that feels right. He pulls away before I have a chance to properly kiss him back and he pulls me into his arms. It feels so good. "I had to do that before I went in. I'm sorry." Then before I even open my eyes again, he's gone and so is the feeling that he brings.

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